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Title Screen
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Movie Title/Year and Scene Descriptions |
Screenshots
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UHF (1989)
- the film debut of comedy rock satirist Weird Al Yankovic
- the character of Gandhi (Jay Levey) on Channel
62 (a failing local TV station), now portrayed as an action-hero,
titled Gandhi
II - seen in a commercial for the new TV show. (Announcer):
"Next week on U-62. He's back and this time he's mad. Gandhi
II.
No more mister passive resistance. He's out to kick some butt.
This is one bad mother you don't wanna mess with...He's a one man
wrecking crew but he also knows how to party...There is only one
law, his law.
Gandhi II"
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Unfaithfully
Yours (1948)
- the three elaborate and surreal fantasies of killing
suspected young, pretty and unfaithful wife Daphne (Linda Darnell)
who was thought to be cheating on him with his private secretary
Tony (Kurt Kreuger): murder, a noble sacrifice and Russian roulette
- dreamt up by jealous husband Sir Alfred De Carter (Rex Harrison)
while he conducted a classical concert symphony (to the music
of Rossini, Wagner, and Tchaikovsky)
- while his plans worked
perfectly in his mind, he stumbled and bumbled his way through
the preparations in real life to murder Daphne (the first fantasy
scenario) with a complicated home recording device in a slapstick
scene of the disastrous, real murder preparations
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(Cheech & Chong's) Up
in Smoke (1978)
- the classic 'drug humor
flick' with funny dialogue between potheads Pedro De Pacas (Cheech
Marin) and Man Stoner (Tommy Chong): (Cheech: "Hey, how
am I driving, man?"
- Chong: "I think we're parked")
- their marijuana
smoke-filled, chick-mobile 'Love-Machine' van and gigantic-sized
joints, although earlier Stoner complained that the joints were
the size of toothpicks
- the "hitchhiking" scene,
when Man Stoner pretended to be a stacked female, and was picked
up by Pedro, who called him "double-bubble" but then realized
he had been tricked: "Hey, you ain't a chick!...Hey, that's false
advertising"
- Pedro's screaming out: "I'm blind" - not realizing
that his cap was pulled over his eyes
- their search for ultimate highs, and frequent
toking in Pedro's car, filling it completely with smoke:
- Pedro: "What is in this s--t, man?"
- Man Stoner: "It's mostly Maui Wowie, man...but it's got some
Labrador in it."
- Pedro: "What's Labrador?"
- Man Stoner: "It's dog s--t...Yeah, my dog ate my stash, man.
I had it on the table and the little motherf--ker ate it, man....So
I had to follow him around with a little baggie for three days before I got it back. Really blew the dog's mind?"
- Pedro:
"You
mean we're smokin' dog s--t, man?"
- Man Stoner: "Gets ya high, don't it? I think it's even better than
before, you know?"
- Pedro: "Uhhh, I wonder what Great Dane
tastes like, man"
- the scene of the two stopped by an arresting officer,
and as the cop asked Man Stoner his name, he vomited into Pedro's
lap - who then answered: "Uuhhh - His name is RAALLLPH, man!"
- the van orgasm scene - Pedro listened as he heard
simulated orgasmic sounds coming from inside the rocking van;
when Man Stoner exited the van, he received a round of applause;
Pedro led him: "Make way for the new king. God-damn, you're a
star, man. Go ahead. After you, King Salami"
- the scene at the Mexican-US border, where Man
Stoner threw a giant joint into a nearby car filled with nuns,
who were apprehended, lined up and searched (evoking smiles),
while Sergeant Stedenko (Stacey Keach) was interviewed about
his objective: "Dope, drugs, weed, grass, toot, smack, quackers,
uppers, downers, all-arounders. You name it, we want it"
- the police dog's reaction after sniffing in their
green van ("Must be some heavy s--t")
- the "whatcha lookin' at man?" scene when Man Stoner
was questioned by Strawberry (Tom Skerritt) (who had a big red
patch on his right cheek and neck), and he responded:
"Oh, nothin'. I wasn't lookin'. I was just - I wasn't lookin'
at his neck"
- the scene of the duo at a police station speaking
over the radio dispatch to Sgt. Stedenko, and misinterpreting
his code-name "Hard-Hat" as "Lard Ass"
- the character of the Ajax Lady (June Fairchild),
who thought that Ajax Cleaner was a powdered drug and she snorted
a few lines
- their 'battle of the bands' rock concert performance
at LA's Roxy Theatre with Cheech dressed in drag in a pink tutu
and Chong as a red Quaalude
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Vampire's Kiss (1989)
- the psychiatric counseling scene of hotshot Manhattan
yuppie literary agent Peter Loew (Nicolas Cage) speaking to his
therapist Dr. Glaser (Elizabeth Ashley) about being aroused more
by a bat than his date: "I brought this girl up to my place the
other night. Really hot, you know. And we're on the bed. And
suddenly, this bat comes swooping down out of nowhere...I'm fighting
this bat off all alone and I'll be damned if I didn't get really
turned on"
- his fanatical and freaked-out outburst to Dr.
Glaser about the stupidity of misfiling by his new office secretary
Alva Restrepo (Maria Conchita Alonso): "How could somebody MISFILE
something? What could be easier? It's all alphabetical. You just
PUT it IN the right file according to ALPHABETICAL ORDER! You
know - A, B, C, D, E, F, G...H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P...Q, R,
S, T, U, V...W, X, Y, Z! Huh? That's ALL you have to DO!...I
never misfiled ANYTHING! Not ONCE, not ONE TIME!...I wanna know
really, WHO DID!"
- the scene of a one-night stand, when Peter was
bitten in the neck during love-making by vampirish Rachel (Jennifer
Beals) - turning him into an over-the-top creature
of the night and assuring him: "It's alright, it's alright.
You chose me"
- his abusive behavior towards Alva when he shouted
and berated her for not doing her job productively: "Am
I getting through to you, Alva?" - and then later, he again shouted
at her when she suggested getting someone else to do her job
and make it easier: "Alva, there is no one else in this entire
office that I could possibly ask to share such a horrible job.
You're the lowest on the totem pole here, Alva. The lowest. Do
you realize that? Every other secretary who's been here has been
here longer than you, Alva. Every one. And even if there was
someone here who was here just one day longer than you, I still
wouldn't ask that person to partake in such a miserable job as
long as you were around. That's right, Alva. It's a horrible,
horrible job. Sifting through old contract after old contract.
I couldn't think of a more horrible job if I wanted to. And you
have to do it. You have to. Or I'll fire you. Do you understand?
Do you?"
- the scene of Rachel's sexual domination of Peter
when she forced him to profess his love for her: "I hate interrupted
love affairs, don't you? How much nicer when the outside world
doesn't interfere with the pleasure. You were so right to put
yourself into my hands, Peter. The only one who can put you out
of your misery. Tell me how much you love me, my angel. Whisper
it to me. Just once. Please, just once. Oh, just once. I know
you do. I can read your mind, my love. I can see it in your actions.
You can't get through the day without thinking about me, can
you? Tell me you love me. Tell me" - and then he uncovered his
neck wound and permitted her to suck his blood
- the scene of the crazed Peter grabbing and eating
a live, squirming cockroach for breakfast
- his continual harrassment of Alva, now in the
backseat of a taxi-cab - when he told her: "It's horrible when
there are tensions between employer and employee. Sometimes the
pressures, you know, they just build up. Wait till you get into
a position of authority....You will, Alva. You're a very bright
girl. That's how I know that today, by God, is the day you're
gonna find that damned Heatherton contract....The
work's not just gonna go away, Alva. It never just 'goes away'.
THE GODDAMN CONTRACT IS SOMEWHERE IN THOSE GODDAMN F--KING FILES!"
- the scene of Peter - wearing fake teeth - phoning
his therapist Dr. Glaser to make an appointment to see her - and
then his catching and consumption of a live pigeon
- the blind date scene, arranged by Dr. Glaser,
between another patient named Sharon (Jessica Lundy) and Peter: "She
complains of exactly the same thing you do and personality-wise,
I think you two are made for each other. I should have matched
you two up long ago" - Sharon described her interests to
Peter:
"I like poetry, horseback-riding, Vivaldi and long weekends
in the country"
- but then, Peter confessed
to a few of his major issues, in his delusionary mind: "I did rape
someone a couple of nights ago. A girl at the office. I just
lost control....Well, the fact is I did murder someone last night.
I turned into a vampire. It's a long story"; Dr. Glaser assured
him: "Would you stop worrying and just get on with your big romance....Get
out of here, the both of you. Have a wonderful life together
and I will take care of the cops"
- the conclusion in Peter's destroyed apartment
(where he had converted his
overturned sofa into a coffin-bed), when the hallucinatory Peter
became extremely annoyed and mad at an imaginary Sharon for continually
asking about his vampire transformation: "You don't let
up, do you, c--t? You just keep harping and harping over the
same goddam thing. 'Why did you become a vampire?' 'Why couldn't
you be normal?' 'Peter, does this mean we can never have children?'
...'cause there's no way in hell that I would ever, ever marry
a loud-mouth pig like you. In the ten minutes I'm with you and
the s--t just starts right up. What? What? You hate my guts?
You wanna go home? You wanna leave? Good. Fine. Get the hell
out of here, you f--king pig! Leave me the f--k alone! I really
can't handle these relationships. Maybe I should see a shrink" -
he attempted to put a wooden stake through his own heart, and
was assisted by Alva's enraged brother, who pushed the stake
in further and brought on Peter's death
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Victor/Victoria (1982)
- in 1930s Paris, the audition scene of frail,
impoverished soprano, Victoria Grant (Julie Andrews) whose high-pitched,
sustained note shattered a wine glass
- the restaurant scene when Victoria dined with
flamboyant, gay, middle-aged cabaret singer Carroll "Toddy" Todd
(Robert Preston), and to avoid paying for the meal, released a cockroach
and then told the waiter ("I'm sure it wasn't your fauIt
that your saIad had a cockroach in it") - and caused complete
havoc
- the plan of opera singer Victoria Grant and "Toddy" to
pass Victoria off as "Count Victor Grezhinski" -
a Polish drag queen and Toddy's new boyfriend: (Victoria: "A
woman pretending to be a man pretending to be a woman?")
- the over-the-top character
of ditzy, wild, uncontrollable, coarse, sex-starved blonde moll
Norma Cassady (Lesley Ann Warren) with her irksome voice ("Kiiiiiiiiing!
Pooooooooookie!") - and with her Chicago mob associate boyfriend
and nightclub owner King Marchand (James Garner); in
bed, she tried to warm up to King, but he was unable to have
sex with her anymore - she tried to assuage his feelings of inadequacy,
with a long malaprop about his impotence: ("Pookie.
It's no big deaI. It happens to everyone. Men, I mean. We're
Iucky. Women, I mean. We can fake it if we have to. Oh, oh, don't
get me wrong. I never have with you. Faked it, I mean. With you,
it's like - pow, pow, pow, Iike the Fourth of July! Every time.
Just tonight, because you couIdn't get it. Up till now it's been
grand, Pookie, really, really grand. And if there's one thing
I know for sure, you can't Iet it get you, you shouId excuse
the expression, down. You can't think about it. You just gotta
put it out of your mind. I mean, the more you think about it,
the more you worry. The more you worry, the more you think. Think,
worry. Good stuff. Worry, think. It just gets Iike a vicious
circIe. And then, before you know it, you are impudent");
and then she asked as he returned to the bedroom from the bathroom
- completely vexed by her and ready to wash her mouth out: "What's
with the soap?"
- Victoria's show-stopping production number "Le
Jazz Hot" in a black gown with stringy bat-wing sleeves
and a rhinestone headdress when she revealed herself as alter-ego
male Victor by ripping off her headdress
- Norma's defiant reaction
when cut loose by King and sent back to America - forced
onto a train by King's bodyguard Mr. Bernstein (Alex Karras)
aka Squash, when she opened her robe to reveal her skimpy bra,
underpants, and stockings, and was yelling: "Thinks he can
just push me around! Thinks I'm just gonna hop on the next boat
for the States and that'll be that! Well, you've got another
thing coming Mr. Big-shot Fairy Marchand! 'Cause Mrs. Cassidy's
little goil Norma ain't gonna take this one lyin' down! And don't
kid yourself! You ain't seen the last of me yet!"
- causing a distracted boarding passenger to stumble off the platform
- also Norma's saucy, sexy song-and-dance Chicago,
Illinois number with other showgirls in baby-doll underwear
- and Norma's hilarious one-liner
when she thought she was to be assaulted by clothes-stripping
Victor/Victoria Grant: "Wait a minute...lock
the door first" - and her reaction to Victoria's true sex
that she screeched at King: "You two-timing son-of-a-bitch!
HE'S A WOMAN!"
- the scene of hilariously
miscast and in drag Toddy performing Shady
Dame From Seville in place of Victoria, and his jokingly
bitter riposte to his chorus line when finished and claiming
it was his last performance: "You
were marvelous - and I never want to see any of you again!"
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Way Out
West (1937)
- the scene of Stan (Stan
Laurel) and Oliver's (Oliver Hardy) discussion about the deed
to the gold mine - delivered to the wrong woman: ("That's
the first mistake we've made since that guy sold us the Brooklyn
Bridge")
- their soft-shoe dance and song routine of
"At the Ball, That's All" while outside the Mickey Finn
Palace Saloon
- also the hilarious scene of Stan being cornered,
wrestled, and tickled to death in Lola's (Sharon Lynne) bedroom
when she recovered the stolen deed in his vest
- and Stanley's biting, chewing, and gulping pieces
of his hat after losing a bet - as Ollie helpfully reminded him: "You
said that if we didn't get the deed that you'd eat my hat",
and Stan's muttering: "Now you're taking me illiterally"
- and the rope-pulley scene using their mule Dinah
to get the rotund Oliver hoisted to the second floor of the saloon
to retrieve the deed
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Wayne's World (1992)
Director Penelope Spheeris' crazy and wacky, absurdist
musical comedy, with the original characters (spun-off and extended
from a sketch on TV's Saturday Night Live) - was inspired
by Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989); the film appealed
to adolescent-minded teens, and was mostly noteworthy for its dialogue,
sight gags, and catchphrases: "Excellent!", "Party
On!", "She's magically babelicious", "That's
what she said," "Schwing!", "If you're gonna
spew, spew into this", "Hurl", "A sphincter says
what?", "Fishnet!", and "Pardon me, do you have
any Grey Poupon?" - among others.
- in the opening title credits sequence, a young couple
in bed, girlfriend Elyse (Ione Skye) and sleazy TV network executive
producer Benjamin Kane (Rob Lowe) for Oliver Communications, were
flipping through the TV channels, showing typical early 90s ads
for the Chia Pet and The Clapper, until they came upon "Wayne's
World" and were thoroughly entertained
![](http://www.filmsite.org/picts/waynesw.jpg)
Elyse (Ione Skye) and Benjamin Kane (Rob Lowe)
Flipping Through TV Channels
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![](http://www.filmsite.org/picts/waynesw2.jpg)
"Wayne's World" TV Show on Public Access
Cable, Channel 10
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![](http://www.filmsite.org/picts/waynesw3.jpg)
Broadcast From the Basement of Wayne's Parents'
Home
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- two stoned, heavy metal-head, slacker friends -
Wayne Campbell (Mike Myers) and Garth Algar (Dana Carvey), were
the hosts of their own local public-access cable TV show on Friday
nights on Channel 10, titled "Wayne's World" -
broadcast from their wood-paneled basement in the Chicago suburban
town of Aurora, Illinois ("a suburb of Chicago - excellent"),
in Wayne's parents' home
- their guest was quirky Ron Paxton (Charles Noland),
the inventor of a revolutionary new hair-cutting and vacuuming
product known as Suck Kut ("It sucks as it cuts") that
was demonstrated on Garth's long hair; he was soon begging: "Turn
it off! It's sucking my will to live! Oh, the humanity!"
- new viewer Benjamin was impressed by the show and
immediately phoned his producer/director Russell Finley (Kurt Fuller),
to propose that they could promote or "sell" the show
to a potential billionaire sponsor Mr. Noah Vanderhoff (Brian Doyle-Murray),
the owner of the largest video arcade chain in Chicago (Noah's
Arcade)
- Wayne introduced himself to the camera (breaking
4th wall), describing how he lived with his parents, didn't have
a real career, and had a huge collection of job name tags over
the years: "I've had plenty of Joe jobs. Nothing I'd call
a career. Let me put it this way. I have an extensive collection
of name tags and hair-nets. Ok, I still live with my parents, which
I admit is both bogus and sad. But at least I've got an amazing
cable access show, and I still know how to party. But what I'd
really love is to do Wayne's World for a living. It might
happen. Sh-yeah, and monkeys might fly outta my butt."
- outside his home, Wayne joined Garth and a group
of friends when picked up in their Mirth-mobile (an AMC Pacer),
for a sing-a-long to Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody": ("Thunderbolts
and Lightning, Very Very Frightening") as they drove through
town; during their drive-around, Wayne - as usual - paused to admire
a 1964 Fender Stratocaster guitar in the shop window of Cassell's
Music and to dream: "It will be mine. Oh, yes"
Late Nite In Stan Mikita's Donuts Shop
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![](http://www.filmsite.org/picts/waynesw6.jpg)
Glen (Ed O'Neill) - Crazed Manager of the Shop
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![](http://www.filmsite.org/picts/waynesw7.jpg)
Garth's Fantasy Dreamwoman (Donna Dixon) in the
Shop
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![](http://www.filmsite.org/picts/waynesw8.jpg)
Wayne's Ex-Girlfriend Stacy (Lara Flynn Boyle)
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- in Stan Mikita's Donuts shop (an "excellent
munchie post"), the intense, psychotic store's manager Glen
(Ed O'Neill) addressed the camera about how he had murdered a man "in
the heat of passion"; Garth had a view of his fantasy Dream
woman (Donna Dixon) inside the shop as Tchaikovsky's Romeo And
Juliet: Fantasy Overture was heard on the soundtrack
- after Wayne attempted to avoid speaking to his troubled,
low-self-esteem, persistent ex-girlfriend Stacy (Lara Flynn Boyle)
of two months ("Psycho hose beast") in the donuts shop,
the group proceeded to the Gasworks heavy metal club-bar; there,
Wayne instantly fell in love (to the tune of "Dream Weaver")
with the on-stage rock-singer Chinese girlfriend Cassandra Wong
(Tia Carrere), the bass vocalist for the group Crucial Taunt that
was playing that night, who also displayed kung-fu fighting skills
- after promoting the show and getting Vanderhoff
to sponsor it, Kane - the regional director for Oliver Communications,
met with the overwhelmed Wayne and Garth to present them with two
$5,000 checks and a contract to purchase rights to their show,
in order to create a big-budget version
- at a later band performance, Wayne joined Cassandra
on a rooftop afterwards to discuss how he had just signed his show
with a producer - and was hoping her band would also get a break
in life: (Wayne: "If you guys got a break, you could really
make it" Cassandra:
"Yeah, and if a frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his ass when
he hops" Wayne: "Interesting. Where did you learn English?" Cassandra:
"College. And the Police Academy movies"); he then
impressed Cassandra with his command of Cantonese and she complimented
him: "Campbell, it's amazing! You learned how to say I look
pretty in Cantonese" - and they began speaking the language
(and even thinking thoughts), with subtitles or captions not matching
their words
- after Garth whistled the theme song to Star Trek,
Wayne and Garth had an amusing chat while lying on their backs
on their car (at the beginning of an airport landing runway) watching
shooting stars in the night's sky - about Cassandra and Bugs Bunny's
sex appeal: Wayne: "Cassandra. She's a fox. In French, she
would be called 'la renarde' and she would be hunted with only
her cunning to protect her...She's a robo-babe. In Latin, she would
be called 'babia majora'" Garth:
"If she were a president, she'd be Babe-raham Lincoln. Did you
ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he put on a dress and played
a girl bunny?...Neither did I. I was just asking"
- after being bought out by Kane, the basement interior
for Wayne's World had been recreated in a fancy studio set;
during a rehearsal to practice using a chroma-key blue-screen,
the two were able to immediately travel to other places with different
backdrops: "OK, we've got a new feature on Wayne's World this
week. It allows us to travel through time and space. It's called
chroma-key, and it's really handy if you want to go to New York....Or
maybe you prefer Hawaii. Muka laka hickey. Come on, you wanna lei
me.. Pass the poi, Mahalo....Or say you want to go to Texas. Howdy,
partners. Let's raise and rope broncos....Or imagine being able
to be magically whisked away to - Delaware"
- Garth also described for Noah and Mimi Vanderhoff
(Colleen Camp) what it was like to be in their new professional
studio: "It's like a new pair of underwear, you know. At first,
it's constrictive, but after a while, it becomes a part of you"
- with his newfound fortune, Wayne visited Cassell's
music store with Cassandra and both of them extolled the expensive
Fender guitar: (Wayne: "There it is...Excalibur."
Cassandra: "Wow, '64 Fender Stratocaster in classic white, with
triple single coil pickups and a whammy bar." Wayne: "Pre-CBS
Fender corporate buy-out." Cassandra: "I'd raise the bridge,
file down the nut, and take the buzz out of the low 'E'"); Garth
showed off an amazing riff on a drum set ("I like to play"),
and then Wayne offered to impulsively buy the guitar: "I'm feeling
saucy. I think I'm gonna buy it - do you accept cash? Cha-ching"
Their Views on Selling Out to Promotional Ad Endorsements
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![](http://www.filmsite.org/screens/waynesworld7.jpg)
Wayne For Pizza Hut
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Garth for Reebok
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- after moving up to the revamped prime-time TV network
in the new studio, Wayne realized that the contract he had signed
stipulated a weekly, promotional interview ad spot for Vanderhoff,
but refused to be obliged to honor the agreement; he told TV executive
producer Kane: "Contract or no, I will not bow to any sponsor," while
contrarily holding up a slice of Pizza Hut pizza, and then a bag
of Doritos Tortilla Chips; when Kane argued: "It's the nature
of the beast," Wayne continued: "Maybe I'm wrong on this
one, but for me, the beast doesn't include selling out. Garth,
you know what I'm talking about, right?"; Garth was wearing
Reebok clothing as he responded: "It's like people only do
things because they get paid. And that's just really sad"
- at the Donut Shop one evening, Garth again viewed
his fantasy Dream woman, and felt like he was going to "hurl";
Wayne encouraged his friend: "I say hurl. If you blow chunks
and she comes back, she's yours. If you spew and she bolts, it
was never meant to be"; Garth acted out his fantasy - he hip-thrusted
toward his fantasy dream girl while lip-synching to the tune of
Jimi Hendrix's "Foxy Lady"
- while lying together in bed, Wayne asked Cassandra
about her responses to various phases of his future fame: "Tell
me, when that first show is over, will you still love me when I'm
an incredibly humongoid giant star?...Will you still love me when
I'm in my hanging-out-with-Ravi-Shankar phase?...Will you still
love me when I'm in my carbohydrates-sequined-jumpsuit, young-girls-in-white-cotton-panties,
waking-up-in-a-pool-of-your-own-vomit, bloated-purple-dead-on-a-toilet
phase?" - when she responded positively, he replied: "OK.
Party. Bonus"
- meanwhile, Benjamin Kane offered to produce a music
video for Cassandra's band Crucial Taunt; he invited Wayne, Garth,
and Cassandra to his 23rd floor luxury apartment, where Wayne was
tempted: "From this height, you could really hawk a loogie
on someone"; Garth called the place a "fully functional
babe lair"; he found Kane's datebook with a reminder: "Purchase
feeble public access cable show and exploit it," but remained
clueless; to get Wayne and Garth out of town so he could romance
Cassandra during her music video shoot for "Why You Wanna
Break My Heart," Kane offered them all-access backstage passes
to an Alice Cooper concert in Milwaukee the next evening
- at the Milwaukee rock concert, Alice Cooper sang
"Feed My Frankenstein" before giving a history lesson lecture
on the city of Milwaukee in his backstage dressing room after the
show: "Well, I'm a regular visitor here, but Milwaukee has certainly
had its share of visitors. The French missionaries and explorers
were coming here as early as the late 1600s to trade with the Native
Americans...Actually, it's pronounced mee-lee-wah-kay, which is Algonquin
for 'the good land'...I think one of the most interesting aspects
of Milwaukee is the fact that it's the only major American city to
have ever elected three socialist mayors" - Wayne responded: "Does
this guy know how to party or what?" - when asked to stick around
and party, the two bowed down and praised him: "We're not worthy!"
- once the duo returned to Chicago and they went on-air,
their TV show had been revamped and emphasized Noah's Arcade's
sponsorship of the program; during the show's interview, Wayne
deliberately embarrassed and humiliated their sponsor, arcade billionaire
Mr. Noah Vanderhoff, by using insulting cue cards (notes written
on the back of his question cards visible to the audience), such
as "SPHINCTER BOY -->" and "HE BLOWS GOATS. I
HAVE PROOF" and "THIS MAN HAS NO PENIS"; as a result,
Wayne was fired, and was told by Kane: "We own the show," leaving
Garth alone to host by himself; Garth complained to Wayne: "You
shouldn't walk out on your friend without telling him first," and
was suspicious of Kane's behavior: "Benjamin had you so snowed...He's
got it for Cassandra"
- Wayne began to distrust Cassandra, and insultingly
accused her of unfaithfulness with Kane, her video producer: "Maybe
he's pokin' ya....First he screws me, then he screws you. It's
Dutch door action" - she ordered him to leave and they broke
up; Wayne was upset and addressed the camera-audience: "I
lost my show, I lost my best friend, I lost my girl, I'm being
s--t on"
- Wayne and Garth joined together to find an alternative
record deal for Cassandra with rock music promoter-producer Frankie "Mr.
Big" Sharp (Frank DiLeo) of Sharp Records; as Cassandra finished
performing her song "Touch Me" in a Tarzan jungle setting,
Wayne arrived to embarrassingly beg to get her back with promises
of having her perform on his new show; his heartfelt Oscar-bait
speech convinced her to leave Kane
- Garth and Wayne brought Cassandra to Wayne's Aurora
home and his basement studio, and transmitted the live performance
of her music video "Ballroom Blitz" via satellite to
Mr. Big's limousine; however, after Sharp declined to give Cassandra
a record contract because it was "the wrong time" - she
decided to permanently break up with Wayne ("You screwed my
career"), and Kane added:
"I always knew you were small-time"; Stacy revealed she
was pregnant with Wayne's child, and electrical shorts ignited a
fire in the house and Garth perished in the flames; at a tropical
island resort, Cassandra whispered to Kane on a beach lounge chair
("Last night was the most incredible night of my life")
- in an attempt to lampoon disastrous film endings
and rewrite the conclusion: ("As if we'd end the movie like
that. Let's do the Scooby-Doo ending"), Wayne and Garth decided
to alter the ending with proposed alternatives; their first attempt
at editing rewound the scene back to the basement, where the two
literally unmasked Kane as "Old Man Withers" who ran
a haunted amusement park in town
Revised Endings
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![](http://www.filmsite.org/picts/waynesw18.jpg)
Kane Unmasked as 'Old Man Withers'
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![](http://www.filmsite.org/picts/waynesw19.jpg)
Cassandra Offered a Six-Album Record Deal by Mr.
Big
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![](http://www.filmsite.org/picts/waynesw20.jpg)
Garth With His Dreamwoman
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- then in a revised "mega happy ending," the
ending was again rewound, and Cassandra received a six-album deal
with Mr. Big, Wayne and Cassandra were reconciled, Garth began
to date his Dreamwoman - the waitress in the donut shop, and Benjamin
reformed himself and admitted: "I've learned that a flawless
profile, a perfect body, the right clothes, and a great car can
get you far in America-- almost to the top-- but it can't get you
everything"
- after the rolling credits, the film concluded with
the TV's show's signoff, and Wayne's hope for the audience: "Well,
that's all the time we have for our movie. We hope you found it
entertaining, whimsical and yet relevant, with an underlying revisionist
conceit that belied the film's emotional attachments to the subject
matter"; Garth added: "I just hope you didn't think it
sucked"
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![](http://www.filmsite.org/picts/waynesw4.jpg)
The Two Hosts (l to r): Wayne (Mike Myers) and Garth (Dana
Carvey)
![](http://www.filmsite.org/picts/waynesw5.jpg)
On the Show, The Suck Kut Was Demonstrated on Garth's Hair
Wayne's Introduction of Himself - Breaking 4th Wall
![](http://www.filmsite.org/screens/waynesworld13.jpg)
Sing-a-long to 'Bohemian Rhapsody'
On Rooftop, Wayne With Rock-Singer Chinese Girlfriend Cassandra (Tia Carrere)
- With Mismatching Captions
An Amusing Conversation on the Hood of their Car
Use of Blue-Screens on the New Studio Set to Create Different Backdrops
![](http://www.filmsite.org/picts/waynesw10.jpg)
Both Wayne and Cassandra Extolling the Fender Guitar
Wayne's Purchase of a Fender Guitar in the Music Store:
"Cha-ching!"
![](http://www.filmsite.org/picts/waynesw12.jpg)
Fantasy: Garth's "Foxy Lady" Dancing and Hip-Thrusting Toward His Dream
woman in Donut Shop
Wayne's Questions to Cassandra: "Will you still love me...?"
Rocker Alice Cooper's Backstage History Lesson on Milwaukee
"We're not worthy!" to Rocker Alice Cooper
![](http://www.filmsite.org/picts/waynesw13.jpg)
Wayne's Insulting Cue Cards to Ridicule Their Show's Sponsor Mr. Vanderhoff
![](http://www.filmsite.org/picts/waynesw14.jpg)
Cassandra Insulted by Wayne's Accusations - They Temporarily Broke Up
![](http://www.filmsite.org/picts/waynesw15.jpg)
Cassandra's Music Video Shoot with Kane in a Tarzan Jungle Setting
![](http://www.filmsite.org/picts/waynesw16.jpg)
Wayne Begging For Cassandra To Come Back to Him
![](http://www.filmsite.org/picts/waynesw17.jpg)
Cassandra's Live Music Video Was Transmitted Via Satellite to Mr. Big's Limousine
![](http://www.filmsite.org/picts/waynesw21.jpg)
Happy Ending For Wayne and Cassandra
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Wedding Crashers (2005)
- a bawdy R-rated film about two intrepid Washington
DC bachelors and lifelong friends John Beckwith (Owen Wilson)
and Jeremy Grey (Vince Vaughn) who invited themselves to nuptial
receptions to pick up on women and bridesmaids
- Jeremy's fears of the 'perils of dating', after
Janice (Stephanie Nevin) offered to set him up on a date: "I've
got the perfect girl for you" - he responded: "Janice,
I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a
forced, awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating.
I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering,
'Do I have food on my face? Am I eating? Am I talking too much?
Are they talking enough? Am I interested? I'm not really interested.
Should I play like I'm interested? But I'm not that interested,
but I think she might be interested. But do I want to be interested?
But now she's not interested.' So now, all of sudden I'm, I'm
starting to get interested. And when am I supposed to kiss her?
Do I have to wait for the door? 'Cause then it's awkward, it's
like 'Well, good night.' Do you do like the ass-out hug? Where
you like, you hug each other like this, and the ass sticks out
because you're trying not to get too close. Or do you go right
in and just kiss 'em on the lips or don't kiss 'em at all? It's
very difficult trying to read the situation and all the while,
you're just really wondering, 'Are we gonna get hopped enough
to make some bad decisions?' Perhaps play a little game called
'Just the Tip.' Just for a second, just to see how it feels,
or 'Ouch Ouch, You're on My Hair.'... And thank you. Hey, Janice.
Great talk"
- the sped-up, raucous montage sequence of the
two scammers seeking free love at various wedding receptions,
and flopping around in bed with partly-clothed and naked women
from the weddings - including Brunette (Rachel Sterling), Ivana
(Ivana Bozilovic), Hindu woman (Naureen Zaim) and Vivian (Diora
Baird), to the tune of the Isley Brothers' "Shout"
- the objectives of their 'wedding crashing' -
two sisters: Claire Cleary (Rachel McAdams) (with a hotheaded,
unfaithful boyfriend named Sack Lodge (Bradley Cooper)), and
Claire's "stage-five virgin clinger" sister Gloria
(Isla Fisher)
- Jeremy's insistence to John, at the Cleary's wedding
reception, that there were specific rules for 'crashing weddings'
- there's no overtime and they had to leave right away: "John,
this is completely against the rules. You have a wedding and
a reception to seal the deal. Period. There's no overtime" -
they both argued: "You lock it up!"
- the Cleary dinner table scene when Jeremy was
touched in his crotch area (to bring him to orgasm) under the
table by nymphomaniacal Gloria, as a serious discussion about
venture capitalism was being conducted: "Well, there's the company
that we have where we're taking the, the fur or the wool from
sheep and we turn it into thread for homeless people to sew.
And then they make it into cloth, which they in turn sew then,
um, make some shirts and pants for other homeless people to sell.
It's a pretty good deal"; Jeremy struggled to add that he was
relieved: "People, people helping people... Terrific, it was
terrific!"
- the protective warning of presidential wannabe,
William Cleary (Christopher Walken), the US Secretary of the
Treasury, to Jeremy about his daughter: "You know, she's not
just another notch on the old belt...I'm a very powerful man"
- the racy scene of Jeremy being seduced by sexually-insatiable,
and "social alcoholic" Kathleen
"Kittycat" Cleary (Jane Seymour) - the socialite wife
of William Clearly who requested that he personally rate her recent
breast implants
- the 'motorboating' scene, when John admitted:
"Claire's mom just made me grab her hooters"; Jeremy
tried to calm him: "Well, snap out of it! What? A hot, older
woman made you feel her cans? Stop crying like a little girl...Why
don't you try getting jacked off under the table in front of
the whole damn family and have some real problems? Jackass. What
were they like, anyway? They look pretty good. Are they real?
Are they built for speed or for comfort? What did you do with
'em? Motorboat? You play the motorboat? Ppppt! You motorboatin'
son of a bitch. You old sailor, you! Where is she? Is she still
in the house?"
- words of wisdom by Chazz Reinhold (Will Ferrell),
Jeremy's former wedding crashing mentor (but who was still living
with his mother), about how to pick up women - at funerals, where
he met his latest female conquest: "I got her yesterday....I
rode my bike over to a cemetery nearby. Her boyfriend just died...The
dude died in a hang-gliding accident. What an idiot! Ha, ha,
ha. 'Oh, I'm hang gliding! Honey, take a good picture... I'm
dead!' Ha, ha. What a freak!...Yeah, I'll throw in a wedding
every now and then, but funerals are insane! The chicks are so
horny, it's not even fair. It's like fishing with dynamite....Yeah,
crazy horny...Grief is nature's most powerful aphrodisiac. Look
it up"
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When Harry
Met Sally... (1989)
- the various pseudo-documentary mini-interview segments
interspersed throughout the film -- each one with an elderly couple
describing their relationship (with one-liners such as: "...you
know a great melon")
- the film's premise: can a man and a woman be friends
without sex becoming an issue?, and the eleven year friendship/relationship
between journalist Sally Albright (Meg Ryan) and political consultant
Harry Burns (Billy Crystal)
- in the film's early road trip sequence during a
1977 18-hour car trip from Chicago to NYC, the roadside cafe scene
of fussy and proper Sally Albright with slobbish student
Harry ordering apple pie and ice cream: "I'd
like the chef salad, please, with the oil and vinegar on the side.
And the apple pie a la mode....But I'd like the pie heated, and
I don't want the ice cream on top. I want it on the side. And I'd
like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it. If not, then
no ice cream, just whipped cream, but only if it's real. If it's
out of a can, then nothing"; the Waitress asked: "Not
even the pie?";
Sally answered: "No, just the pie. But then not heated" -
while Harry just ordered: "the Number Three"
- the scene of Harry describing his recurring sex
fantasy dream to Sally: "I had my dream again - where I'm making
love and the Olympic judges are watching? I've nailed the compulsories,
so this is it: the finals. I got a 9.8 from the Canadian, a perfect
10 from the American. And my mother, disguised as an East German
judge, gave me a 5.6. Must've been the dismount"; then it was Sally's
turn to describe her 'embarrassing' sex dream: "Basically it's
the same one I've been having since I was 12...OK, there's this
guy...He's just kinda faceless...He rips off my clothes...That's
it...Sometimes I vary it a little...What I'm wearing"
- the "high-maintenance/low-maintenance" phone discussion
between Harry and Sally, while they were both watching the conclusion
of Casablanca from their respective beds: Harry: "There are two
kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance...You're the
worst kind; you're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance....You
don't see that? Waiter, I'll begin with a house salad, but I don't
want the regular dressing. I'll have the balsamic vinegar and oil,
but on the side. And then the salmon with the mustard sauce, but
I want the mustard sauce on the side. 'On
the side' is
a very big thing for you..."
- the notorious, crowded New York deli-restaurant
scene of Sally's fully-clothed, simulated orgasm with table-beating
and ecstatic moans and gasps to prove to Harry how most women occasionally
fake orgasms: ("Ooooh. Oh, God. Oooooh. Oh God!...");
she demonstrated with her stereotyped orgasmic display of a loud
and long series of pants, groans, gasps, hair rufflings, caresses,
table poundings, and ecstatic releases; as she finished climaxing,
she yelled: "Yes, Yes, YES! YES! YES!";
her simulation was foot-noted by an elderly patron (director Rob
Reiner's mother Estelle) exclaiming to the waiter at a nearby table:
"I'll have what she's having"
Sally's Simulated Orgasm
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"I'll have what she's having"
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- the scene of the simultaneous, split-screen four-way
phone call the next day, when Harry called his friend Jess (Bruno
Kirby) and Sally called her friend Marie (Carrie Fisher) to tell
them that they had just had sex - and when the call was finished,
Marie asked Jess: "Tell
me I never have to be out there again"
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4-Way Phone Call
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Elderly Couples
![](http://www.filmsite.org/pix/whenharry.jpg)
Sally's Fussy Apple Pie Order
Sharing Recurring Sex Dreams
Split Screen High-Maintenance/Low Maintenance Discussion
![](http://www.filmsite.org/pix/whenharry2.jpg)
Their First Instance of Sex - Apres-Sex
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Who Framed
Roger Rabbit (1988)
- the many inside jokes and visual
puns
- the riotous opening Maroon cartoon
short Somethin's
Cookin' featuring Baby Herman and Toon-star Roger Rabbit (voice
of Charles Fleischer)
- the manic, hostile piano duel between Donald
Duck and Daffy Duck: (Daffy: "This is the last time I work with someone
with a speech impediment!") playing Franz Liszt's Hungarian Rhapsody
No. 2
- the busty and sensual appearance of Roger's
sexy wife Jessica (voice of Kathleen Turner) in a shimmering pink
dress from behind a curtain at the Ink and Paint Club
- the
character of down-and-out, hard-boiled private detective Eddie
Valiant (Bob Hoskins) and his mis-adventures inside the off-the-wall,
lunatic Toontown - interacting with such cartoon legends as Mickey
Mouse, Bugs Bunny, Droopy Dog and Tweety Bird - and of course,
Roger
- Eddie's slapstick dance to make Doom's sidekick
Weasels die - literally - of laughter at him
- the joyous conclusion with Porky Pig delivering
his famous
"That's all folks!"
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The Wicker Man (2006)
- in this Hollywood remake, the many unintentionally
funny scenes of California law officer Edward Malus (Nicolas Cage)
investigating the disappearance of young girl Rowan Woodward (Erika
Shaye Gair) (the plot twist was that the girl was his own daughter!)
on a pagan-worshipping island off the coast of Washington State;
there were frequent over-reactions, bad acting, over-the-top
rantings and ravings
- Malus arrived at a classroom full of girls who
were chanting: "Phallic symbol, phallic symbol!" in response to
teacher Sister Rose's (Molly Parker) question: "Will you tell us
what man represents in his purest form?"; Malus flashed his badge
as he introduced himself at the door while laughing: "I'm a policeman.
See my badge?"
- Malus' crazed, repeated question to his ex-fiancee,
Sister Willow (Kate Beahan), while holding Rowan's doll: "Is this
hers? How'd it get burned? How'd it get burned? HOW'D IT GET BURNED,
HOW'D IT GET BURNED?"
- Malus' threatening stance while pointing a gun at
Rose before stealing her bike: "Step away from the bike!"
- his donning of a ridiculous bear costume to join
in a parade, in disguise
- Malus' response to torture before his legs were
broken with a mallet, to prevent him from escaping: "YOU BITCHES!
YOU BITCHES! THIS IS MURDER! MURDER! YOU'LL ALL BE GUILTY! AND
YOU'RE DOING IT FOR NOTHING! KILLING ME WON'T BRING BACK YOUR GODDAMN
HONEY!"
- Malus' reaction to having a bee helmet placed on
his head, into which live bees were poured: "OH, NO! NOT THE BEES!
NOT THE BEES! AAAAAHHHHH! OH, THEY'RE IN MY EYES! MY EYES! AAAAHHHHH!
AAAAAGGHHH!"
- and as Malus was burned in the large wooden Wicker
Man statue, the crowd chanted "The Drone Must Die!" while
he screamed out
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Willy Wonka & the Chocolate
Factory (1971)
- the zany Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder)
and his off-the-cuff, literary referential non-sequiturs and non-answers:
("The suspense is terrible... I hope it'll last" - from Oscar Wilde's "The Importance of Being Earnest" - "If the
good Lord had intended us to walk, he wouldn't have invented roller-skates"
- and "So much time and so little to do. Wait a minute. Strike that.
Reverse it...")
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Withnail & I (1987, UK)
- the film's highly memorable
script ("Scrubbers!") about two would-be, down-and-out
actors (Withnail & I, Marwood), who escaped to the countryside
from London
-
the tea-room scene in which arrogant drunkard/homosexual Withnail
(Richard E. Grant) demanded from the proprietor in the already-closed
establishment: "We want
the finest wines available to humanity, and we want them here, and
we want them now!"
- also Withnail's description of how to
spend the weekend as they approached the pub: "Alright, this
is the plan. We get in there and get wrecked. Then we'll eat a
pork pie, then we'll drop a couple of Surmontil-50s each. It means
we'll miss out Monday and come up smiling Tuesday morning"
- the chicken-killing scene ("I think you
should strangle it instantly in case it starts trying to make friends
with us")
- the fish-shooting sequence (a new way to fish)
- the characters of Danny
(Ralph Brown) ("All hairdressers
are in the employment of the government") who knew how
to roll a "Camberwell Carrot",
and Withnail's eccentric, wealthy and lonely Uncle Monty (Richard
Griffiths)
- also the scene in which Marwood/I (Paul McGann)
was in the Mother Black Cap pub with Withnail, and while on his
way into the men's room, he heard a homophobic, fat Irishman (Daragh
O'Malley) bar patron deliver a slur toward him: "Ponce!";
while he was at a urinal, in voice-over, Withnail worried: "I
could hardly piss straight with fear. Here was a man with three-quarters
of an inch of brain had taken a dislike to me. What have I done
to offend him? I don't consciously offend big men like this. And
this one has a definite imbalance of hormone in him. Get any more
masculine than him, you'd have to live up a tree. (Reading graffiti
carved into the wall in front of him) 'I f--k arses.' Who f--ks
arses? Maybe he f--ks arses. Maybe he's written this in some moment
of drunken sincerity? I'm in considerable danger in here. I must
get out of here at once"
- in the next sequence as he left the loo, Marwood
heard another greater insult: "Performed
Ponce"; when directly confronted, Withnail
delivered a witty retort for his friend: "I have a heart
condition. If you hit me, it's murder"; the Irishman continued:
"I'll murder the pair of yers!"; then Withnail added tearfully:
"My wife is having a baby! Listen, I don't know what my acquaintance
did to upset you, but it's nothing to do with me. I suggest you
both go outside and discuss it sensibly, in the street" - and
the two then fled the pub screaming
- and the film's conclusion with Withnail's wine-soaked
quoting from Shakespeare's Hamlet during a drenching rain:
("What a piece of work is a man! How noble
in reason! How infinite in faculties! How like an angel in apprehension,
how like a God! The beauty of the world, paragon of animals!
And yet to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights
not me: no, nor women neither. Nor women neither")
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The Wizard
of Oz (1939)
- the scene of the squirming Scarecrow
(Ray Bolger) - and then the shaking Cowardly Lion (Bert Lahr) timidly
asking the Wizard after being challenged to bring back the broomstick
of the Wicked Witch of the West: "But what if she kills us first?"- then
panicking, running down the hallway and leaping through a window
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The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)
- the iconic, scene-stealing chest-beating or thumping
scene, set during lunch (and lots of martini orders) in a high-rise
skyscraper's restaurant between Jordan Belfort (Leonardo Di Caprio)
and sleazy, smooth-talking high-roller boss Mark Hanna (Matthew
McConaughey); Belfort was literally introduced to the calming effect
of chest-thumping and money-chanting by Hanna, who coaxed him into
joining in: "Come on. We're the common denominator. Keep it
up for me. You've seen the echo. And the money comes in. The parade
comes to town. Goin' down Broadway. It's a one-way street. Whichever
way I go"
- later, Belfort led his entire staff in a
session of chest-beating
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Woman of the Year (1942)
- the scene in which down-to-earth New York sportswriter
Sam Craig (Spencer Tracy) took brilliant, high-brow political correspondent
Tess Harding (Katharine Hepburn) to her first baseball game during
which he had to explain the game and its rules
- and her disastrous failed attempt to cook a decent
breakfast and be a traditionally-domesticated housewife for him
- she fought with the kitchen appliances, watched toast pop out
of the toaster onto the floor, boiled coffee over, and overfilled
the waffle griddle with batter as he watched in amazement
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The Women (1939)
- all of the scenes of poisonous
and jaundiced views of the women - at beauty parlors, a divorce dude
ranch in Reno (with a tremendous cat-fight), in dressing rooms,
exercise rooms and powder rooms
- and the cold-hearted perfume salesgirl
Crystal Allen's (Joan Crawford) final vitriolic parting words -
hissed at the other women: "...there's
a name for you ladies, but it isn't used in high society, outside
of a kennel!" - typical
of the film's entire dialogue
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Young Frankenstein
(1974)
- the funny horror film spoof
from director Mel Brooks, with its early
scene in the medical classroom when the grandson of the original
baron named Dr. Frederick Frankenstein (Gene Wilder): ("It's
pronounced Frohn-ken-Steeeen")
must answer touchy questions from an inquisitive and persistent
student (Danny Goldman) about his legendary grandfather Dr. Victor
Frankenstein - and he jabbed a scalpel into his leg
- the character of bug-eyed, ignorant, leering Igor
(Marty Feldman) with a shifting humpback ("Didn't you used
to have that on the other side?...Your, uh...")
- Igor's transport of Dr. Frankenstein and his temporary
assistant Inga (Teri Garr) to the Transylvanian castle in a hay
cart, and her exclamation of: "Werewolf!"; Igor misinterpreted
what she said and answered by pointing out: "There...There,
wolf. There, castle"
- the scene of Frankenstein marveling at large wrought-iron
door knockers on the Transylvania castle door:
"What knockers!", with Inga's quick appreciative response
as he lifted her out of the carriage: "Oh, Thank you, doctor!"
- the scenes of horses neighing and whinnying (amidst
lightning strikes) whenever castle housekeeper Frau Blucher's (Cloris
Leachman) name was mentioned
- also the revolving bookcase-fireplace sequence revealing
a secret passageway, and Dr. Frankenstein's continual request: "Put
the candle back"; and his failed attempt to block the turning
bookcase with his body: ("Now listen to me very carefully,
don't put the candle back. With all of your might, shove against
the other side of the bookcase. Is that perfectly clear?");
and then Inga became trapped behind the bookcase
- the creation scene in which Dr. Frankenstein yelled
madly: "Give my creation...life!"
- and the charades sequence of Dr. Frankenstein acting
out the word 'Sed-a-give' ("Give him the sedative" with
an injection), using the game of charades, to control the violent
Monster (Peter Boyle) that was strangling him
- Igor's questioning by slow-to-anger Dr. Frankenstein
about whose brain Igor had stolen:
"Would you mind telling me whose brain I did put in?";
Igor responded hesitantly and acquired a promise that the doctor
wouldn't become angry: "Abby someone...Abby Normal...I'm almost
sure that was the name"; Frankenstein pressed further: "Are
you saying that I put an abnormal brain into a seven-and-a-half-foot
long, fifty-four inch wide gorilla? Is that what you're telling me?" and
then began strangling his servant
- the classic scene of the Monster with the blind
hermit (Gene Hackman) in his shack - a tribute to a similar scene
in The Bride of Frankenstein in
which he called the Monster "an incredibly big mute",
ladled boiling hot soup on the Monster's lap, broke the Monster's
wine mug when toasting their friendship, and lit the Monster's
thumb, thinking it was a cigar - and then called after him as he
left in fear: "Wait. Where are you going? I was gonna make
espresso"
- Dr. Frankenstein's introduction of the Monster to
an audience as a "man about town" and their top-hat and
cane, tap-dancing duet of Irving Berlin's "Puttin' on the
Ritz" - with the Monster's slurred, squeaky, and high-pitched
singing of "Punnondariiiiiiiizz!"
- the scene of the arrival of Dr. Frankenstein's untouchable
fiancee Elizabeth (Madeline Kahn), when a request was made of Igor: "Igor,
will you give me a hand with the bags?" - and his reply -
with growling:
"Certainly, you take the blonde and I'll take the one with the
turban"
- and the scene of Elizabeth's kidnapping by the
Monster - with her hair turned white, a la The
Bride of Frankenstein; and the nymphomaniac's
infatuation with the Monster - after viewing his "enormous
schwanstucker," she breathed an aroused, wide-eyed "Woof!";
she warbled the tune 'O Sweet Mystery of Life' as he made love
to her (offscreen); post-coitus while sharing a cigarette together
(similar to Now, Voyager (1942)),
she complimented him on his stamina: "You're incorrigible,
aren't you, you little zipper-neck?"
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Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008)
- an R-rated comedy/drama about two cash-strapped,
platonic, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania friends: Zack Brown (Seth Rogen)
and roommate Miriam "Miri" Linky (Elizabeth Banks), who
decided to earn quick money for their rent by making an amateur
adult porno flick
- the argument scene between Delaney (Craig
Robinson) and his assertive, volatile wife (Tisha Campbell-Martin)
who swore at each other like a real husband-and-wife; when he returned
home late with Zack, she wanted answers: "Where the f--k you
been? And who in the f--k is this now?...You already left one white
boy down in my basement while you off gallivanting and s--t. What
if this motherf--ker was all grabby on me?"; when Delaney
reassured her with "Ain't nobody wanna grab on you",
his response backfired and she ignited in anger: "Oh,
what in the f--k is that supposed to mean?"; Zack was pulled
into the argument when she demanded an answer from
him: "White boys love me. White boy. I said white boy!...You'd
f--k me, wouldn't you?"; Zack was coached to answer: "Yeah!";
in response, she seductively pinched her breast at him; in a few
moments, the couple both accused each other of having physical
deficiencies - "saggy-ass balls" and "sagging-ass
titties" - she
retorted back: "Then motherf--ker, we match!"
- the comedy's most controversial scene - a gross-out
scatological 's--t shot' (something that caused the MPAA ratings
board concern), when Deacon (Jeff Anderson) was complaining to
Delaney (who was exclaiming "Can you believe this s--t?") after
Stacey (real-life adult film star Katie Morgan) accidentally pooped
all over his face: "Do you believe THIS s--t?...I'll tell you what
just happened in there. That chick frosted me like I was a f--king
cake!"
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Zoolander (2001)
- a Ben Stiller-directed comedy
- a satire on the fashion industry about clueless, dumb
but handsome, narcissistic male supermodel Derek Zoolander (Ben
Stiller) who was brainwashed by corrupt fashion executive Jacobim
Mugatu (Will Ferrell) in a plot to assassinate the anti-sweat-shop,
politically-progressive Malaysian prime minister during a visit
to New York - cued to the song "Relax" by Frankie Goes
to Hollywood
- Derek's explanation to journalist Matilda Jeffries
(Christine Taylor) about why he so often used the term: "Earth
To...": "Listen. It's not like we think we're actually
in a control tower trying to reach outer space aliens or something,
okay?"
- and Derek's words about doing more in life than
being good-looking, by helping people: "Maybe we should be
doing something more meaningful with our lives. Like helping people....People
who need help"; his roommate friends suggested instead: "Orange
mocha frappuccino!"
- after watching one of Derek's mer-man ads on TV,
his apology to his coal-mining father Larry (Jon Voight) who
was embarrassed for having such a delicate son coming back to his
hometown roots: "I'm sorry I was born with this perfect bone structure.
That my hair looks better done up with gel and mousse than hidden
under a stupid hat with a light on it!"; his enraged father disowned
and mocked him: "Your male modeling? Prancing around in your underwear
with your wiener hanging out for everyone to see? You're dead to
me, boy. You're more dead to me than your dead mother. I just thank
the Lord she didn't live to see her son as a mermaid"
- Mugatu's throw-up after tasting a latte drink prepared
by Graham Todd (Nathan Lee): "Are you not aware that I get farty
and bloated with a foamy latte?"
- and Derek's upset about the presentation
of Mugatu's miniature model for the Derek Zoolander Center For
Kids Who Can't Read Good, when he smashed it on the floor: "What
is this? A center for ants?...How can we be expected to teach children
to learn how to read if they can't even fit inside the building?...I
don't want to hear your excuses! The center has to be at least
three times bigger than this"
- the scene of Zoolander's vigorous and stimulating
massage given to him by Olga (Andy Dick) at the Pier 12 Day Spa:
"I want you to relax and breathe deeply. Breathe deeply...Welcome
to your relaxation time. Let this wonderful s classic soothe you.
Just a nice, warm, happy time. Happy, happy. Nothing to worry about
at all. Just relax"
- the underground, Fight Club-like fashion
runway 'walk-off' between Zoolander and up-and-coming, winning Male
Model of the Year - blonde "it-boy" model Hansel
(Owen Wilson) after the latter asserted: "Age before beauty,
Cochise"; the fashion competition was
refereed by David Bowie (as Himself), to the music of Michael
Jackson's Beat It - and also viewed in split-screen; during
the walk-off, Derek attempted to duplicate Hansel's complex underwear-removal
move, but failed (he was ruled "Disqualified")
- the scene of famous former male hand model J.P.
Prewitt's (David Duchovny) crack-pot description, delivered in
a cemetery, of a fashion industry conspiracy behind political assassinations:
"What you've stumbled upon goes way deeper than you could ever
fathom. The fashion industry has been behind every major political
assassination over the last 200 years. And behind every hit, a
card-carrying male model...Listen and learn, sweetness. Abe Lincoln
wanted to abolish slavery, right? But who do you think made the
powdered wigs and colored leg stockings worn by our country's early
leaders?...Slaves, Derek. Without their free labor, prices on such
items would have gone up tenfold. So the powers that be hired John
Wilkes Booth - the original model/actor, to do Mr. Lincoln in.
I'll go on. Dallas, Texas, 1963. Kennedy had just put a trade embargo
on Cuba, ostensibly halting the shipment of Cuban-manufactured
sans-a-belt slacks. Incredibly popular item at the time....those
two lookers who capped Kennedy from the grassy knoll sure as s--t
were...Think about it, Derek. Male models are genetically constructed
to become assassins. They're in peak physical condition. They can
gain entry to the most secure places in the world. And most important
of all, models don't think for themselves. They do as they're told"
- a scene paying homage to 'The Dawn of the Apes'
in 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968): Derek's and Hansel's confusion
about figuring out how to start up an orange-colored, Apple-brand
Macintosh computer in the office of Derek's agent Maury Ballstein
(Jerry Stiller): "There must be an on button somewhere. Did you
press that apple thing? Wait! Hansel! Let's not lose our cool.
Then we're no better than the machine"
- the concluding scene, when the crazed Mugatu was
circumvented from his plot to have Derek kill the Malaysian Prime
Minister: "I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! I invented
the piano key necktie! I invented it! What have you done, Derek?
Nothing! You've done nothing! Nothing! And I will be a monkey's
uncle if I have you ruin this for me! Because if you can't get
the job done, then I will! Die, you wage-hiking scum!" -
Mugatu decided to do the job himself by throwing a concealed Japanese
weapon (shuriken) at the PI, but Derek came to the rescue and halted
the weapon by posing as the ultimate male model known as "Magnum"
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