Lovely & Amazing (2001)

In this dramatic comedy by Nicole Holofcener, Emily Mortimer starred as timid and insecure Elizabeth Marks - one of three daughters (the middle one) in a dysfunctional family.

In one memorable scene, the body-obsessed aspiring actress left her shared bed naked and deliberately posed in front of egotistical, narcissistic, and callous fellow actor/boyfriend named Kevin (Dermot Mulroney).

As she turned slowly and asked for a candid evaluation and critiquing of the imperfections of her lithe body, he told her, reluctantly: "You ain't bad."

Monster's Ball (2001)

Director Marc Forster's mainstream Oscar-winning film was remarkable for its sexual candor and intensity, displayed through sexual couplings to ease life's pains. Halle Berry won a landmark Best Actress Oscar for her portrayal of widowed, African-American single-mom and waitress Leticia Musgrove, who became involved in an unlikely, racially-charged romantic relationship with a hard-drinking, racist, emotionally-drained Georgia prison (death-row) guard Hank Grotowski (Billy Bob Thornton).

Also living in the Grotowski household was Buck (Peter Boyle) - Hank's sick, emphysema-stricken, racist father whose wife had committed suicide, and Sonny (Heath Ledger), Hank's co-worker son - a corrections-officer. Sonny was used to having sex with the same town's prostitute, Vera (Amber Rules). In an early scene, faceless, abbreviated sex from behind was his favored position.

In the film's most devastating scene, Leticia said goodbye to her about-to-be-executed (by electric chair) husband, Lawrence Musgrove (Sean "Diddy" Combs), who had been on death row for 11 years; their obese-overweight son Tyrell (Coronji Calhoun) was also present. Abusive mother Leticia displaced her anger by berating her son for being so fat, as she forced him to get on a scale - his weight was 189.

Musgrove's Electric Chair Execution

Hank's Attack on Sonny in the Prison Bathroom For Ruining Lawrence's Execution

After the intense death row execution of Lawrence Musgrove, Hank viciously attacked his son Sonny in the prison's bathroom for vomiting during the prisoner's last walk, for ruining everything, and for being a "pussy." This incident led to the sudden suicide of Hank's estranged son Sonny in the Grotowski's living room, when he brandished a gun and asked his father: "You hate me, don't you?"; Hank replied calmly that he had always hated his son: ("Yeah, I hate you. I always did"), causing Sonny to lethally shoot himself directly in the chest with a gun after telling his father: ("Well, I always loved you").

Afterwards, Hank buried Sonny's body in the backyard, and burned his Department of Corrections uniform in a fire - after resigning from his job as Deputy Warden; he admitted to his Pop that he was a quitter.

Through an unexpected incident on a rainy-night following a hit-and run accident and the death of Leticia's son, Hank and Leticia were soon reunited by their common and respective grief for their deceased young sons; he tentatively began a relationship with the emotionally-devastated widow, who worked at a diner that he often frequented.

While drinking together in her place, Hank and Leticia talked about her difficult life and her efforts to be a good mother to her very ravenous and fat deceased son: "I was a good mother. I was a really good mom. I didn't want him to be fat like that. I did not want my baby to be fat like that, 'cause I know, a black man in America, you can't be like that, and I tried to... I was just trying to tell him you can't be like that. You can't be like that in America and a black man."

Then, the emotionally-devastated widow expressed her raw, intensely sexual, animalistic and volatile nature by engaging in love-making after begging to be made to feel better:

"I was just... I'm not sure... I'm not sure what you want me to do. I want... You know what I want. I want you to make me feel better....Just make me feel good. I just want you to make me feel good. Can you make me feel good?...Just make me feel good...I want- I want to feel good. I want to feel. Fill me up. Fill me up. Fill me up. Oh, my God. Fill me. Fill me."

Hank's Start of a Relationship with Leticia: The "Make...Me...Feel...Good" Scene with Leticia Musgrove (Halle Berry)

When Leticia visited Hank's home to bring him a gift (an expensive white cowboy hat) after he had offered her Sonny's truck, Hank's extremely-racist father Buck fashioned the hat and then insultingly told Leticia that the only reason Hank was interested in her was for sex with a black female: ("Damn! Hank must've done somethin' right to deserve a fine hat like this....In my prime, I had a thing for n----r juice myself. Hank just like his daddy. He ain't a man till he split dark oak"); Buck's raw, offensive and racist comments caused Leticia to break up with Hank.

Angry with his father, Hank decided to cut off ties with his father by placing him in a nursing home. Meanwhile, Leticia was evicted and was invited by Hank to live in his house. Although Leticia discovered that Hank oversaw and participated in her husband's execution (she found her husband's drawings) and was deeply disturbed, the two were able to reconnect during a love scene when he offered to give her oral sex ("Can I touch you?"), and she gave her permission, as the camera remained focused on her top half.

In the film's final reconciliation scene, Hank and Leticia sat on the front porch eating ice cream together; after offering her a bite of chocolate ice cream to eat, he assured her: "I think we're gonna be alright."

Mulholland Dr. (2001)

Best Director-nominated David Lynch's surreal, mystifying, dream-like work about Hollywood fame. It told about two female characters, with twisting and turning dual personas. In fact, the first three quarters of the film was an idealistically-portrayed and romanticized fantasy dream by Diane, who imagined herself as rising star Betty Elms (also Watts) in Hollywood - before she became depressed, murderous, and then committed suicide:

• 'Rita' / Camilla Rhodes (Laura Elena Harring, the first Latina to win the Miss USA title in 1985), a dark-haired, full-bodied amnesiac and mysterious femme fatale
• Betty Elms / Diane Selwyn (Naomi Watts), a wholesome, naive, pert blonde wannabe starlet newly arrived in Los Angeles

See Filmsite's write-up of the "Plot Twists" of Mulholland Dr.

They engaged in two steamy, topless, hesitant and exploratory lesbian love scenes. In the first scene, 'Rita' removed her robe, slipped into Betty's bed naked - and was asked the question: "Have you ever done this before?" followed by a kiss on the lips. Betty then confessed: "I want to with you. I'm in love with you. I'm in love with you." This was accompanied by more kisses and the sexual touching of each of their breasts.

Rita (Laura Elena Harring) and Betty (Naomi Watts) - Their First Lesbian Encounter

In a second more explicit scene (disjointed due to an almost imperceptible switch in characters and setting), Betty (wearing a robe and carrying a cup of coffee) / Diane (topless and carrying a drink, and wearing denim cutoffs) joined a half-naked 'Rita' reclining on a couch. Diane caressed Rita's nipple and breast, and kissed her:

Diane: "What was that you were saying, beautiful?"
Rita: "I said, 'You drive me wild.' (pause) We shouldn't do this anymore."
Diane: (dismayed): "Don't say that. Don't ever say that."
Rita: (struggling with her) "Don't, Diane. Stop it! Diane, stop! I've tried to tell you this before."
Diane: (jealously suspect) "It's him, isn't it?"

Rita and Betty/Diane - Their Second Lesbian Encounter

Also, earlier Betty acted in a creepy but masterfully-acted audition scene in which she delivered a sexually-tainted script with a tanned and aging lothario Jimmy (Chad Everett) - as she whispered in his ear and bit his lip.

Toward the film's conclusion, Diane engaged in a non-explicit scene of masturbation (dry and painful) inside her jeans pants, as she fantasized about how her life could have been better. Unrealistically, she had seen herself as naive starlet Betty with both a successful Hollywood career and a love affair with Camilla - the film's major storyline.

Not Another Teen Movie (2001)

Director Joel Gallen's debut film, an R-rated prurient teen comedy (along the lines of the romantic comedy She's All That (1999) with Freddie Prinze and Rachael Leigh-Cook) contained plenty of raunchiness, scatology, and nudity. It was designed as a satirical, low-brow parody of high-school teen coming-of-age films mostly from recent years, but also from the 80s and 90s.

Popular "beautiful jock" Jake Wyler (Chris Evans) made a wager with his friends that he could turn any girl into the prom queen (Pygmalion's theme) merely by associating with him - even a nerdy, gawky artist and "pretty ugly girl" wallflower named Janey Briggs (Chyler Leigh). Another familiar plot line was that a trio of virgin freshman was on a quest to lose their virginity.

To set the tone for the remainder of the derivative film, it opened with an outrageous giant dildo scene (non-nude, however) in which bookish outcast and female lead Janey was in her bedroom masturbating in privacy under the covers with a twisting, buzzing long pink vibrator ("My Lil' Vibrator"). Suddenly, her family and friends burst in to wish her a happy birthday. When the dog pulled away her covers, her uncontrollable orgasm sent the vibrator spinning up into mid-air to land with a splat in the birthday cake.

The running gag was a perpetually-naked high school foreign exchange student provocatively named Areola (Cerina Vincent), a spoof of Shannon Elizabeth's Nadia in American Pie (1999). She appeared unnecessarily naked in every scene she was in, and spoke with an ever-changing accent.

In an office (with a prominent sign: DRESS CODE IS STRICTLY ENFORCED), she proclaimed to John Hughes High School principal Mr. Cornish (George Wyner):

"My breasts are perky, yes?...I'm so happy to be in America. ...I don't need the class schedule. I only come to this school to be object of lust for poor nerds who cannot get American pussy."

The subtitles were deliberately placed to avoid obscuring her breasts.

Naked Foreign Exchange HS Student Areola (Cerina Vincent) with School Principal Mr. Cornish
Areola with Janey (below)

When Areola was introduced to pony-tailed, glasses and overalls-wearing Janey in the office, she kissed her on each side of her face. Janey, who was to show Areola to her first class, congratulated her: "I like your backpack."

In one scene set at a party, another bare-breasted girl (Jesse Capelli/Jennifer Leone) observed jealously and angrily that Areola - who strolled by naked - had on the same outfit as she did, while her friend responded to console her: "It looks much better on you."

During an anticipatory prom musical number "Prom Tonight," Areola stood naked at her open window when an animated blue bird landed on her chest as she sang: "Look at me. My breasts are perky, yes?"

Original Sin (2001)

Assumed identities and duplicitous scams were two of the themes of writer/director Michael Cristofer's poorly-reviewed erotic crime drama. The two superstars Antonio Banderas and Angelina Jolie were hyped as the two passionate and duplicitous lovers in an arranged marriage, with steamy, overheated sex scenes, some of which were edited to avoid an NC-17 rating. [The explicit unrated version was about 6 minutes longer than the theatrical version.] Convoluted plot twists in the flashbacked melodramatic story were mostly predictable.

Its tagline was:

"Obsession. Lies. Desire. Lust..."

The trashy thriller with inane dialogue (similar to soft-core Red Shoe Diaries episodes) opened with a full-lipped unidentified female talking through her prison cell bars. She was about to be executed (by garrotting), and was narrating (in voice-over) her tale, the film's story, to a priest (Mario Ivan Martinez) - a flashback:

"You cannot walk away from love. That was the advertisement in a Baltimore newspaper. And that is how he found her. She was a young woman in need of a husband, and he was a man who wanted a wife....No, this is not a love story, but it is a story about love, and the power it has over our life. The power to heal or destroy. And this is where the story begins."

Julia Russell (Angelina Jolie) had arrived in late 19th century Cuba - as a mail-order mystery bride from Wilmington, Delaware commissioned to wed Don Luis Antonio Vargas (Antonio Banderas), who had advertised himself in a Baltimore newspaper as a clerk in a coffee export house, although he was the wealthy owner of a coffee-export business. He had expected a homely woman from her photographs, but she was an exquisitely beautiful and seductive female. She explained that she didn’t want him to be interested in her just because she had "a pretty face," so she had sent a picture of a plain-looking relative.

They both shared similar devious motivations - the film's major clue was stated by Julia: "We are both not to be trusted." They were married almost immediately, but did not consummate their love until a few days later ("And there, in his arms, she became someone else. Someone more like herself"). There were various glistening sexual couplings at different angles, photographed from above, and they shared a bath together in a metal tub.

Original Sin's Steamy, Edited Sex Sequences

She was actually a murderous imposter and con artist named Bonny Castle. She was working with scamming accomplice/lover Billy, actually private investigator Detective Walter Downs (Thomas Jane). He was pretending to track her down, although his real goal was to help her defraud Luis of his money, while she fled for the alleged murder of the real Julia Russell. Unexpected plot twists and revelations came, as the distrustful femme fatale continued to dupe both men - with more betrayals, counter-cons, and staged deaths.

During a fight between the two men, Luis shot and killed Walter, but Walter was not really dead (the gun had only blank cartridges), although Luis thought he was dead. On the side, Julia was secretly making love to the strongly jealous and possessive Walter/Billy, an S&M lover (who carved lines into her back). He encouraged the two of them to kill Luis, but then Luis discovered that Walter was not dead after following Julia one night to a brothel. Even though he knew of their deadly plot against his life, the masochistic, passionately-in-love, blindly, co-dependent lover Luis drank a rat-poisoned coffee concoction anyway, while confessing his love for her ("No other love but you").

Luis survived the poisoning as she dragged him to the train station, pursued by Walter/Billy. During a confrontation there, an enraged Walter thought that he had been betrayed, and held a knife to Julia's throat. Luis shot and wounded Walter in the stomach, and Julia pulled the trigger a second time to end his life. Julia cradled Luis in her arms and told him that she loved him. Luis was taken away for treatment and Julia was jailed for murder.

The film concluded with a return to the film's opening - Julia about to be executed at daybreak. She told her story and made a final confession to the priest, who helped her to escape her cell by wearing the priest's garment.

Now, she was engaged in petty card shark schemes at a gambling table in Morocco with Luis. He told the other players:

"Perhaps, later on, I will tell you the story of how we came to be here. It is an interesting tale. Some of it is even true. But for now, all I can say is that from the moment I saw her, I loved her. And no matter the price, you cannot walk away from love."

The Piano Teacher (2001, Fr./Austria) (aka La Pianiste)

Director Michael Haneke's provocative, harsh and disturbing film (originally titled "Let It Bleed"), although non-exploitative, won top honors as the Cannes Grand Jury Prize-winner. The film was released unrated, rather than with an NC-17 rating, and its US release was delayed due to its difficult subject matter.

It told about a love-starved, sexually-repressed, and masochistic Vienna Conservatory piano teacher Prof. Erika Kohut (Isabelle Huppert) in her late 30s who admitted: "The urge to be beaten has been in me for years." She dressed androgynously and acted harshly toward her students.

In one sequence, she visited a porn cinema peepshow (displaying a choice of four videos of hard-core fellatio and intercourse - blurred out) where she held a used, masturbatory tissue from a previous customer to her nose during viewing.

In another shocking self-destructive scene of self-mutilation in her bathroom, she sat in a stark white bathtub - naked under her robe - and used a disposable razor on her vagina (viewed with an angled mirror between her legs) to cut herself.

She ultimately developed an intensifying relationship (amour fou) with her admiring, unsuspecting pupil Walter Klemmer (Benot Magimel), in which she engaged in deviant sexual role-playing and sado-masochistic fantasies ("If you want to hit me, hit me"), macabre rituals, and dependency.

Her transmittals of depraved, arousing, sexual taunting, hand-written letters of unspeakable acts (or "instructions") to him led to an encounter in the school's restroom - then frustration when she masturbated him almost to climax and then stopped - and forbid him to climax.

When he angrily confronted her at home about her sickness and her domineering mother (Annie Girardot) and delivered several blows to Erika's bloodied face, he also displayed some tenderness to her to atone for his punishing blows by attempting love-making - to which she responded disgustedly and emotionlessly.

The Pornographer (2001, Fr./Can.) (aka Le Pornographe)

French director Bertrand Bonello's self-important film was an arthouse-style look at the French pornography industry. It included an 11-second climax-ejaculation 'money shot' that had to be censored before distribution.

Amidst the pretentious drama and storyline about reconnection with an estranged son named Joseph (Jeremie Renier), it contained one graphic sex scene in its story about a semi-retired porn film director named Jacques (Jean-Pierre Leaud) who returned to making a hard-core film (only because it was profitable, but lacking emotional depth) with two real-life French porn stars:

• Ovidie (as Jenny)
• Titof (as Franck)

Prozac Nation (2001)

Norwegian director Erik Skjoldbjaerg's coming-of-age film, his first English-language feature, was a downer film that experienced a delayed release, and was only widely available after its 2005 debut showing on the Starz! network and its release on DVD.

It starred Christina Ricci, who was known more for her early role as Wednesday Addams in The Addams Family movies (1991 and 1993). The controversial Miramax film gained further attention by featuring Ricci's first feature-film topless scenes as the sexually-promiscuous and drug/alcohol abusing heroine.

She portrayed self-destructive Elizabeth "Lizzie" Wurtzel - the gifted, alienated and unhappy author of an autobiographical best-selling book about her own bout with depression while she was an aspiring, intense mid-80s Harvard student writer.

Sex and Lucia (2001, Sp.) (aka Lucía y el Sexo)

Julio Medem's unabashedly sexy, erotic, intriguing and poetic art-house film was told with a twisting plot.

See Filmsite's write-up of the "Plot Twists" of Sex and Lucia:

It was mostly a story about the passionate involvement between two individuals:

• Lucia (Paz Vega), a lusciously beautiful Madrid waitress
• Lorenzo Alvarez (Tristan Ulloa), a suicidal novelist with writer's block who had a secret past

When they first met in a public restaurant, told in a long flashback sequence, she told him how she was an adoring fan of his first novel and proposed:

"The person I really want to live with is you...I'm completely in love with you. Madly, as you can see...With time, living together, you'll end up falling in love with me, of course."

He responded: "I think I just did. Let's go get drunk and celebrate." When he took her back to his place later that evening, she encouraged him as she laid back: "Go ahead and undress me. Do whatever you want to me" although they both fell asleep.

After she wandered naked around his apartment the next morning, she showered and thought: "A ray of sunshine Brought your love to me," and then began to caress the sleeping writer, even touching his aroused genitals (including a split-second view of Lucia holding his male erection in close-up in the unrated version), telling him:

"Slowly. With love. We're just starting. Like that. So it lasts longer."

As they had intercourse, she screamed as she orgasmed: "I'm dying. I'm dying! My love. I'm gonna die!" They took very intimate, sexy Polaroid pictures of each other during more unabashed, sensual love-making that they used to inflame their passion at an outdoor cafe.

On a dare to do a striptease, she removed her black panties in public, and then playfully performed the panty-less, sexy strip back at his apartment singing: "I've got just what you want."

During more love-making games, he was blind-folded as she touched her finger, her elbow, her lips, her shoulder, and her breast's nipple to his lips, and then French-kissed him - then she got on her knees and straddled herself naked above his mouth and received tongue-flicks as she thrust her genital lips back and forth over him.

Then she was blindfolded as they made love, and told him: "Lorenzo, my love. I can't take anymore. So much love will kill me. I'm dying. I'm dying!"

Lucia: "Have you ever with another girl had better sex?...Which do you prefer? Wild sex with a stranger? Or sex with someone you know, someone you love, but also wild?...You have to choose."
Lorenzo: "With you. I'd never imagined being so lucky. Girls like you never like guys like me. You're a gift."

The Sexy Lucia (Paz Vega) - The Love Making and Stripping Scenes

Storytelling (2001)

Controversial film-maker Todd Solondz's third feature film was divided into two parts, one titled "Fiction" and the other "Non-Fiction."

The dramatic film was rated "R" - instead of NC-17 - only after the director agreed to visually 'censor' an explicit, discomforting sodomy scene in "Fiction." It had numerous and vigorous thrusts during rear-entry intercourse between an older black man and a younger white female-student. The image in the scene was blocked out with a prominent red box in the US release - the scene was un-censored in foreign prints and in the DVD.

In the sex scene under question, nude white female university student Vi (Selma Blair) with pinkish-blonde hair was instructed to "turn around" - she faced a wall when her black, Pulitzer Prize-winning creative arts professor Mr. Gary Scott (Robert Wisdom) pulled down his underwear and entered her from behind.

During intercourse, he repeatedly forced her to yell the N-word: ("Say N---er, f--k me hard") which she reluctantly obeyed, with each word accentuated by his physical thrusting and increasing in tempo and volume. When they were finished, she dressed and told him: "I'm tired, that's all."

Swordfish (2001)

Director Dominic Sena's R-rated, plot-twisting crime story and action film was noted mostly for super-star Halle Berry's gratuitous, expensive topless revelation (reportedly for which she was contractually paid $500,000 in addition to her $2 million salary) from behind a book while topless sunbathing at poolside.

Berry played the sexy character of temptress Ginger Knowles opposite once-jailed computer hacker Stanley Jobson (Hugh Jackman) and ruthless maniac bank thief/spy Gabriel Shear (John Travolta).

After a failed hostage-rescue in the crime thriller's dramatic opening set in a bank, the film flashbacked four days earlier to Midland, Texas, where ex-con hacker Stanley Jobson (known as "the most dangerous hacker in America") was practicing golf (wrapped only in a towel) on his trailer park rooftop as he watched Ginger Knowles (Halle Berry) drive up in a red sports-car convertible. She was wearing a matching one-piece tight red dress while chewing on a red candystick.

The hot agent (providing the film's exploitative eye-candy) was there to employ Stanley's hacker abilities for her boss Gabriel Shear, a former counter-terrorist agent who had gone rogue as a spy, but Stan emphatically declined: "You're wasting your time. If I even touch a computer, I go straight back to Leavenworth. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200." She was brutally blunt: "I'm not here to suck your dick, Stan." But then he was convinced, for $100,000, to meet Gabriel at an LA night club. Almost penniless, Stan needed the money for lawyer fees to obtain custody of his daughter Holly Jobson (Camryn Grimes), who was living with her junkie mother, porn actress Melissa (Drea de Matteo) and her new lover, a porn king.

In his meeting with Gabriel, Stanley's hacking skills were challenged - to break into a government computer system in one minute. During a forced test, Stanley attempted the feat during simulated fellatio with blonde, leather-wearing prostitute Helga (Laura Lane) while a gun (with silencer) was pointed at his head. When time ran out, Gabriel joked: "I was just f--kin' with ya, Stan." However, Stanley had actually broken into the DOD system (Gabriel: "That's our guy!").

Later in the surprise ending, Ginger was revealed to be a DEA undercover agent (when Stanley came upon her in black bikini underwear, with a wire attached to her leg), although in a second twist delivered later, she and Gabriel had survived explosions, were partners-in-crime, and sailed away together on a yacht in Monte Carlo after she had transferred $9.5 billion of stolen funds from her employer's account evenly into other accounts. Her password was "Swordfish."

Gabriel was an 'imposter" who had taken over the identity of the real Israeli Mossad agent Gabriel Shear. "Imposter" Gabriel wanted the stolen billions of dollars to fund covert anti-terrorism - evidenced by the destruction of a yacht in the Mediterranean carrying elusive terrorist Allal bin-Hazzad, thought responsible for the U.S. embassy bombing in Istanbul earlier in the month. It marked the third successful killing of a terrorist in about three weeks.

Ginger's most memorable "entrance" came later in the film when she appeared topless while sunbathing, when Stanley came to her to request her car keys, so he could visit his daughter Holly.

Tomcats (2001)

One of the worst and most offensive movies of 2001 was writer/director Gregory Poirier's distasteful, misogynistic, mean-spirited sex comedy, in which women were repeatedly humiliated and disrespected (for example, Golfing Girl (Tracy Kay) was run over with a golf cart). Although it promised to be sexy, there was no full nudity (except for brief glimpses of male buttocks), lots of breast implants on display, and just plain raunchiness. The vulgar and juvenile film followed in a long tradition of better films (Porky's (1982) and American Pie (1999)), in its tale of a group of sexist, chauvinistic, moronic college buddies in their late 20s.

During the opening-credits cartoon, a pair of animated animals (a cat and a dog) groped at well-endowed caricatures of femininity, to the tune of The Offspring's "I Want You Bad." The stinker film's premise was that the men wanted - but actually neurotically hated and feared women - who were mostly portrayed as sniping, bitchy and domineering.

The male "tomcats" or characters in the film knew that sooner or later, their macho gang would break up as each of them were married --- they regarded the institution of marriage as a detestable and cancerous option in life. They had paid into a high-yield mutual fund that grew to almost $500,000 - it would be the prize for the one who stayed single the longest. The tagline provided the summary:

"The Last Man Standing Gets The Kitty."

After seven years, the last two remaining bachelors were:

• Kyle Brenner (Jake Busey), a golfer, a despicable and crass misogynist
• Michael Delaney (Jerry O'Connell), an aspiring cartoonist, a gambler with a debt of $51,000 after visiting a Vegas craps table, who was threatened by casino boss Carlos (Bill Maher!)

Bathroom-humor dialogue in the morally-reprehensible film was uncomfortably gross, for example, in a scene set in a Hard Rock Hotel/Casino bedroom in Las Vegas between Michael in his underwear and a beautiful blonde named Shelby (Playboy Playmate Julia Schultz). As she kissed his entire body, she urged him to "say it":

Michael: Oh, wow.
Shelby: Say it, Michael.
Michael: Um, say it?
Shelby: I'm not gonna do it unless you say it.
Michael: I'm sorry. I'm having a little bit of trouble concentrating here. What is it exactly you want me to say?
Shelby: You know. Those three little words.
Michael: Those three little words.
Shelby: Mm - hmm.
Michael: Those three little words. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on, hold on a minute.
Shelby: What's wrong? What?
Michael: I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. (She was stunned. They left the balcony, and he escorted her through the hotel's hallway to an awaiting elevator)
Shelby: Why are you acting like this?
Michael: Shelby, you are the one who's rushing things.
Shelby: Rushing what?
Michael: Shelby, look. I like you. I like you a lot. But things are just moving a little too fast. I'm just not ready to say: 'I love you'.
Shelby: What on earth makes you think I want you to say: 'I love you'?
Michael: Oh, come on. Back there. You wouldn't do it because I wouldn't say those three little words.
Shelby: Ha, ha, ha, ha. You colossal moron! (She used her fingers to count out the three words as she pronounced them) 'Suck my cock.' (She held up her middle finger)
Michael: 'Suck my cock!' Suck my cock! Oh! Suck my cock! Suck my cock! Suck my cock! Suck my cock!

Michael (who needed to pay off his Vegas casino debts) planned to entice Kyle's mistreated and offended ex-girlfriend - statuesque pretty Natalie Parker (Shannon Elizabeth), into reuniting with an entrapped Kyle by seducing him and marrying him - so they could split the $500K bounty.

Things didn't go well at first - she was an undercover cop who hauled Michael into the station for soliciting prostitution. When Michael explained the film's entire set-up during an interrogation scene in the police station, the investigating cop Officer Hurley (Bernie Casey) ironically said: "That was the most pathetic f--king s--t I have ever heard!" (Actually it was a statement about the film). To make a long story short, Michael and Natalie inevitably and predictably became attracted to each other, but carried through with their deception.

A series of bad-taste offensive (and unfunny) jokes abounded for the "tomcats" in a number of unnecessary sub-plots:

• there were Viagra-fueled boners amongst the best men at a wedding ("Don't they look handsome in their tuxedos!")
• a bosomy Gorgeous Redhead Amber (Amber Smith) rubbed craps table dice over her tits to entice Michael to foolishly gamble in Vegas
• marriage, family and baby-averse Michael had a freak-out hallucination of a breast-feeding mother's milk squirted into a coffee cup, during a meal scene
• Michael had a bizarre bondage and S&M scene with a whip-cracking, red-haired dominatrix nymphomaniac (a sexually-repressed, bespectacled, prim librarian named Jill (Heather Stephens) when they first met) - who punished the "bad boy" with Scarlet Letter paddle-whacks on his bare butt for overdue library books ("one whack for every day overdue"), along with her skin-tight, black leather-clad Grammy (Marine Crossen)

Michael's Sperm Donation Bank Fantasies
Receptionist Nanci (Sandra Taylor)	Michael's Fantasy of Making Love to Centerfold (Katie Lohmann)
Fantasy of Making Love to Natalie

• Michael and Kyle visited a sperm bank depository, where they were greeted by sexy receptionist Nanci (Sandra Taylor); Michael fantasized about making love to a blonde centerfold (Katie Lohmann) in an animal-print bra and then to Natalie (with a spoof of the falling rose-petals in American Beauty (1999)) while masturbating, and then presented three full containers to Nanci
• Kyle's surgically-removed, enlarged cancerous testicle was kicked around and ricocheted through the Mount Olympus Hospital's hallways and stairwells and eventually landed on the plate of surgeon Dr. Crawford (David Ogden Stiers) in the hospital's cafeteria - where he chomped into it
• at Kyle's bachelor party attended by strippers, including red-thong bikinied aspiring actress Cherry (Rachel Sterling), an off-screen female squirted a ping pong ball (then a larger white ball and a football!) across the room from a body cavity

In the contrived conclusion, Michael felt he had to stop Kyle's wedding to Natalie at City Hall (a spoof of a similar scene in The Graduate (1967)), but he was too late. All for naught - Kyle explained that he had married Natalie, but she had immediately annulled the wedding and disappeared, and he suspected that Michael and Natalie had bamboozled him for the cash, but he admitted that he was thankfully single and still fooling around.

There were at least three false endings to the film:

• Michael made up with Natalie and they were betrothed
• Kyle was in the S&M bondage parlor with Jill and Grammy
• and Steve (Horatio Sanz) caught his wife Tricia (Jaime Pressly) actually lesbian-kissing Latino maid Consuela (Sole Alberti) and Kelly (Brandi Andres). He exclaimed: "Oh, you're all dirty birdies!" - it wasn't just a shadow puppet show this time. He was upset until invited by Tricia to join them.

The only full nudity in the film was during the blooper out-takes seen interspersed between the closing credits. Michael was making love to one of the red lingerie-wearing strippers (Jovanna Vitiello) from the bachelor party, now bare-breasted beneath him.

Vanilla Sky (2001)

Writer/director Cameron Crowe's film was a Hollywoodized remake of Open Your Eyes/Abre los Ojos (1997, Sp.) by Spanish director Alejandro Amenabar.

The story told about formerly handsome, 32 year-old wealthy playboy David Aames (Tom Cruise), a publishing firm heir, who was charged with the crime of murder. He wore a latex facial mask to cover a disfigurement as he related his dreams and life story to psychologist McCabe (Kurt Russell). In flashback, the film showed how he became acquainted with his best friend Brian Shelby's (Jason Lee) recent acquaintance - a beautiful brunette named Sofia Serrano (Penelope Cruz), who warned: "We'd better watch out" but then kissed him.

David was attempting to ditch his possessive blonde lover Julie Gianni (Cameron Diaz) at the same time. Enraged and jilted, she revealed her obsessive jealousy to him: "You f--ked me four times the other night, David. You've been inside me...I swallowed your cum. That means something" and then asked: "Do you believe in God?" before she deliberately caused an automobile accident, killing herself and severely injuring David as a result.

In this plot-twisting film about the nature of reality, he 'awoke' from a drunken night lying in a New York City street (from here on, the film was an "artificial perception" or dream provided by a cryogenics company following his suicidal death) - awakened by Sofia's whispered words "Open your eyes."

She quickly became his lover and they made love in a fantasy love scene after she removed his post-operative mask and told him his face was "perfect." She asked: "Do you love me? I mean, do you really love me? Because if you don't, I'll just have to kill you." In a silly sequence of dialogue, he pointed to a mole between her breasts and suggested living there. She also asked, tellingly: "Is this a dream?" and he answered: "Absolutely" as they kissed.

David (Tom Cruise) and Sofia (Penelope Cruz) in the 2001 Remake

Warm Water Under a Red Bridge (2001, Jp./Fr.) (aka Akai hashi no shita no nurui mizu)

In this fanciful and eccentric tale (a sexual allegory), a remarkable woman named Saeko Aizawa (Misa Shimizu), who lived in an old wooden house by the Noto Peninsula that overlooked a red bridge spanning a river, had an unusual sexual power.

When water built up inside of her in a magical spring, she could only release or vent it by doing something wickedly immoral, like stealing (shoplifting), or more fully through a climaxing orgasm.

This caused a gushing flood and amazed her lustful male partner Yosuke (Koji Yakusho). The water actually flowed into the river, where it sustained life and attracted a special kind of fish (and fishermen) and seagulls.

Y Tu Mama Tambien (2001, Mex.) (aka And Your Mother Too)

Filmmaker Alfonso Cuarón's unrated tale of sexual discovery included multiple explicit scenes of both male and female nudity and sexuality in a coming-of-age, sensual journey film. It had a lengthy tagline when translated:

"Life has its way of teaching us. Life has its way of confusing us. Life has its way of changing us. Life has its way of astonishing us. Life has its way of hurting us. Life has its way of curing us. Life has its way of inspiring us."

Set in the late 1990s, it told about two sexually-active, hormone-challenged, 17 year-old Mexican boys, who had both hetero and homosexual camaraderie (co-mutual masturbation while both were lying on parallel diving boards at a local public swimming pool):

• Julio Zapata (Gael Garcia Bernal), raised by a working single mother in a leftist, middle-class family; with girlfriend Cecilia "Ceci" Huerta (Maria Aura)
• Tenoch Iturbide (Diego Luna), the son of a wealthy, high-ranking politician; with sweetheart Ana Morelos (Ana López Mercado)

Both males had sex with their girlfriends before they left for the summer, to travel in Italy. There were avowed promises made over being faithful between the couples.

Then, the two over-sexed boys met an intriguing woman about 10 years older than themselves at a wedding:

• Luisa Cortes (Maribel Verdu), a sexy and wise 28 year-old Spanish beauty - the estranged wife of Tenoch's cousin Alejandro (or "Jano")

They decided to take a short road trip, with Luisa as a traveling companion, to find a make-believe, idyllic beach named Heaven's Mouth (Boca Del Cielo). There were tensions between the two vulgar male teens, based upon their socio-economic differences -- they called each other "hillbilly" and "yuppie" respectively. Before long, she enticed and had sex with both of them - separately (first Tenoch, then Julio).

In a cantina jukebox sequence, she functioned as their sexual and life tutor when Tenoch asked: "Who f--ks better between us? The truth." She tried to answer diplomatically and attempted to tell the competitive boys that she preferred neither of her companions romantically over the other. "Despite the fiasco, you each have your own charms." She then advised: "You both have to quit whacking off and work up your resistance...Both of you, stop whacking off." She then told the waiter: "These boys don't know how to go down on a girl" - and then told Tenoch: "You were slurping like this was a lollipop. You have to be gentle. You have to make the clitoris your best friend...Search and you shall find. The greatest pleasure is giving pleasure." The trio then toasted: "Hail to the clit!"

They continued talking, expressing jealous sexual rivalry and boyish machismo over her, while also bragging about their sexual experiences (blow-jobs) with their girlfriends. While 'spilling their guts', both teens admitted that they had clandestinely slept with each other's girlfriend many times. Tenoch told how he had slept with Julio's girlfriend: "I f--ked Ceci a few times." Julio counterpunched: "No big deal. I poked Ana a bunch of times." Tenoch then claimed grossly: "So we're milk brothers!" Then Luisa offered another humorous toast: "To your girlfriends who are having 10 Italians at a time!" And shockingly, Julio also confessed that he had sex with Tenoch’s mother -- the basis for the film's title: "And your mother, too" - but was it said in jest or not? He claimed: "And your mother, too, you know?...Honestly, the day she cleaned my aura." The two boys raised their shot glasses: "Luisa! To all mothers!"

Then, before the film's most famous and pivotal scene, Luisa danced with both boys (one on either side) in the cantina to the sound of a jukebox, then gradually led them to their hotel bedroom for a threesome. Luisa successfully encouraged the boys to kiss and have sex with each other. She provided the catalyst for them to experience something entirely different between themselves. As they eagerly stripped her down and kissed her, she coaxed the teens to be drawn to each other and kiss (and embrace), while she ducked down and pleasured each of them simultaneously with her hand. The next morning, they woke up sleeping naked next to each other. Ultimately, this homosexual encounter severed the bond between the two males.

The Threesome		Homosexual Kiss

After a journey of self- and sexual discovery with Luisa (who often displayed intermittent tears), the two left her at the beach with a fisherman's family that had lived there for four generations. Their journey ended at the isolated beach where the narrator (Daniel Giménez Cacho) explained the boys' departure:

At 1 pm, Julio and Tenoch began their journey back home. It was a very quiet, uneventful trip. Their families never knew about the trip to the beach with Luisa. She stayed behind to begin her exploration of the local coves. (Luisa dove into the ocean) The last thing she told Tenoch and Julio was: 'Life is like the surf, so give yourself away like the sea.'

One year later, the two met for coffee and during their conversation, Tenoch revealed that Luisa had been terminally ill with cancer during their trip. Although she had visited the doctor about some tests, it wasn't known until the final minutes that she left her unfaithful husband for an end-of-life experience, and had died about a month after their trip.