Background
![](jpg/whenharry-2.jpg) The
witty and likeable, lightweight, old-fashioned romantic comedy, When
Harry Met Sally... (1989) was intended to answer the sexual politics
question:
"Can two friends sleep together and still love each other in the
morning?"
The engaging, episodic film keenly observes romance,
relationships between males and females, friendship and sex. Two
long-time acquaintances Harry Burns (Billy Crystal) and Sally Albright
(Meg Ryan) grapple with this question over a 12-year period (beginning
in the spring of 1977), as their relationship grows and matures.
Their love is not "at
first sight" but takes years to develop.
[Note: Their contrasting names reflect their polar-opposite
attitudes toward life: the dark, angst-driven, eternally pessimistic
but warm nature of the male, with the bright-eyed, perky, fresh-faced,
effervescent and happier character of the female. In fact, Harry
says early on, "When I buy a new book, I always read the last
page first. That way, in case I die before I finish, I know how it
ends. That, my friend, is a dark side." He is basically sexist
and irascible, while she fights back in a persnickety, eccentric,
feminist way.]
The film's sole Academy Award nomination was for Nora
Ephron's Best Original Screenplay - written directly for the screen
- it lost to Tom Schulman's script for director Peter Weir's Dead
Poets Society. [Note: Ephron would go on to write and direct
other romantic comedies, including Sleepless in Seattle (1993) (with
Rob Reiner in an acting role) and You've Got Mail (1998) (both
with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks). The respective films were updates of
the two classics: Leo McCarey's An Affair to Remember (1957) and
Ernst Lubitsch's The Shop Around the Corner (1940).]
The film also features the music of Sinatra reincarnation
Harry Connick, Jr. This was one of cinematographer Barry Sonnenfeld's
last efforts in that role - he went on to direct The Addams Family
(1991) (his directorial debut film) and Addams Family Values
(1993), Get Shorty (1995), and Men in Black (1997),
among others. The solid lead roles and the supporting performances
of the leads' best friends were neglected for Oscar consideration:
Carrie Fisher as Marie and Bruno Kirby as Jess.
Director Rob Reiner directed this smart, modern-day
'screwball comedy' (his fifth film) of the semi-autobiographical
tale - it was compiled from the shared recollections of actual romances.
Reiner's first four films include the satire of rock documentaries
titled This is Spinal Tap! (1984), the teen romantic comedy The
Sure Thing (1985), the youthful drama Stand By Me (1986),
and the delightful fantasy The Princess Bride (1987). In 2004,
the film was adapted for the stage by Marcy Kahan, and opened in
London with leads Luke Perry and Alyson Hannigan.
The summer of 1989's 'sleeper' film has a number of
startling resemblances to Woody Allen's witty, urban romance Annie
Hall (1977): the title credits (with a black background and
white text) along with the film's title song "It Had to Be You" (sung
by Diane Keaton in Allen's film) being played on a piano, direct
camera interviews-testimonials, split-screen techniques, the Manhattan
backdrop (including the fall foliage), evocative George Gershwin
tunes, obsessive talk about sex and death, the romance between a
Jew and non-Jewish woman (shiksa), and Harry and Sally's first meeting
in 1977 - is the year the similar film was released. The film's ending
parallels Allen's Manhattan (1979). However, the two films
also differed: When Harry Met Sally... illustrated how friends
can ultimately realize that they're better as lovers, while Annie
Hall (1977) showed how lovers may end up better as friends.
The title of the film was spoofed in Dumb and Dumberer:
When Harry Met Lloyd (2003).
Plot Synopsis
The film opens with an older couple sitting on a love
seat. [This is the first of many such pseudo documentary-style
scenes of recollections of older couples describing how they first
met. They are actors in the roles.] Speaking about his successful
marriage, the balding husband talks directly into the camera with
his white haired wife next to him:
I was sitting with my friend Arthur Kornblum, in
a restaurant, it was a Horn and Hardart Cafeteria, and this beautiful
girl walked in - [he gestures toward his wife] - and I turned to
Arthur and I said, "Arthur, you see that girl? I'm going to
marry her." And two weeks later we were married. And it's
over fifty years later and we're still married.
UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO - 1977
The film fades into a scene on a university campus.
In close-up, a couple, twenty-six year old Harry Burns (Billy Crystal)
and his twenty-year old girlfriend Amanda Reese (Michelle Nicastro)
are confiding their love to each other and kissing madly. They are
oblivious when a yellow station wagon drives up behind them with
twenty-one year old Sally Albright (Meg Ryan), Amanda's pal. After
their college graduation, Sally is driving Harry, her best friend's
boyfriend, to New York from their school in Chicago - it will be
an 18 hour trip.
Sally is blonde, smiley, clean-living, structured and
very organized in an uptight way and she has already planned the
entire trip:
I have it all figured out. It's an eighteen-hour
trip, which breaks down into six shifts of three hours each. Or
alternatively, we could break it down by mileage. There's a, there's
a map on the visor that I've marked to show the locations where
we can change shifts.
On the other hand, Harry is more of a slob, as he demonstrates
by eating grapes and forgetting to roll down the window when he spits
out a grape seed. They immediately take a dislike to each other.
Because they have a long trip ahead of them, Harry
asks: "Why don't you tell me the story of your life?" Sally
is a would-be journalist who is to
"go to journalism school to become a reporter," and she wants
to make a start in Manhattan. By contrast, Harry has "a dark side" and
is obsessed with death, but Sally is "one of those cheerful people
who dot their 'i's' with little hearts."
Harry: When I buy a new book, I always read the last
page first. That way, in case I die before I finish, I know how
it ends. That, my friend, is a dark side.
Sally: That doesn't mean you're deep or anything. I mean, yes, basically
I'm a happy person...
Harry: So am I.
Sally: ...and I don't see that there's anything wrong with that.
Harry: Of course not. You're too busy being happy. Do you ever think
about death?
Sally: Yes.
Harry: Sure you do. A fleeting thought that drifts in and out of
the transom of your mind. I spend hours, I spend days...
Sally: - and you think this makes you a better person?
Harry: Look, when the s--t comes down, I'm gonna be prepared and
you're not, that's all I'm saying.
Sally: And in the meantime, you're gonna ruin your whole life waiting
for it.
As in Woody Allen's Play It
Again, Sam (1972), the opinionated Harry is also obsessed
with the film Casablanca (1942) and
they argue about it (in voice-over) - expressing their two contrary
perspectives about the film's finale. Her practical choice, later
denied, is that she would prefer to leave with Victor Laszlo
rather than stay with the self-sacrificing, romantic hero Rick
(Humphrey Bogart):
Harry: He wants her to leave. That's why he puts
her on the plane.
Sally: I don't think she wants to stay.
Harry: Of course she wants to stay. Wouldn't you rather be with Humphrey
Bogart than the other guy?
Sally: I don't want to spend the rest of my life in Casablanca married
to a man who runs a bar. That probably sounds very snobbish to you,
but I don't.
Harry: You'd rather be in a passionless marriage -
Sally: - and be the First Lady of Czechoslovakia -
Harry: - than live with the man... you've had the greatest sex of
your life with, just because he owns a bar and that is all he does.
Sally: Yes, and so would any woman in her right mind. Women are very
practical. Even Ingrid Bergman, which is why she gets on the plane
at the end of the movie.
As they enter a roadside cafe, Harry demonstrates his
sexist and argumentative nature. Soon, Sally is debating the odds
of having great sex with a guy named 'Sheldon' while they order a
dinner meal. She is compulsively concerned about how her food should
be prepared:
Harry: Obviously, you haven't had great sex yet...
Sally: It just so happens that I have had plenty of good sex... (Sally's
infuriated response is so loud that other customers stop eating
to notice her response.)
Harry: With whom did you have this great sex?
Sally: (embarrassed) I'm not going to tell you that!
Harry: Fine. Don't tell me.
Sally: Shel Gordon.
Harry: Shel. Sheldon? No, no. You did not have great sex with Sheldon.
Sally: I did too.
Harry: No, you didn't. A Sheldon can do your income taxes. If you
need a root canal, Sheldon's your man, but humpin' and pumpin' is
not Sheldon's strong suit. It's the name. 'Do it to me, Sheldon.'
'You're an animal, Sheldon.' 'Ride me, big Sheldon.' It doesn't work.
Waitress: What can I get you?
Sheldon: I'll have the Number Three.
Sally: I'd like the chef salad, please, with the oil and vinegar
on the side. And the apple pie a la mode....But I'd like the pie
heated, and I don't want the ice cream on top. I want it on the side.
And I'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it. If not,
then no ice cream, just whipped cream, but only if it's real. If
it's out of a can, then nothing.
Waitress: Not even the pie?
Sally: No, just the pie. But then not heated.
Curious about her relationship with Sheldon but also
feigning disinterest, Harry pursues the issue further:
Harry: So how come you broke up with Sheldon?
Sally: How do you know we broke up?
Harry: Because if you didn't break up, you wouldn't be with me, you'd
be off with Sheldon the Wonder Schlong.
Sally: First of all, I am not with you. And second of all,
it is none of your business why we broke up.
Harry: You're right, you're right. I don't want to know.
Sally: Well, if you must know, it was because he was very jealous
and I had these Days of the Week underpants.
Harry: (He makes a loud buzzer sound) I'm sorry. I need a judge's
ruling on this. Days of the Week underpants?
Sally: Yes. They had the days of the week on them, and I thought
they were sort of funny - and then one day, Sheldon says to me, 'You
never wear Sunday.' He's all suspicious. Where was Sunday? Where
had I left Sunday? And I told him, and he didn't believe me.
Harry: What?
Sally: They don't make Sunday.
Harry: Why not?
Sally: (matter-of-factly) Because of God.
After Sally has finished figuring out her portion of
the bill and tip that she will pay, by using a calculator, Harry
just stares at her and flirtatiously remarks how attractive she is:
Harry: (smiling) You're a very attractive person.
Sally: (suspicious) Thank you.
Harry: Amanda never said how attractive you were.
Sally: Well, maybe she doesn't think I'm attractive.
Harry: I don't think it's a matter of opinion. Empirically, you are
attractive. (She gets up.)
Sally: (astonished) Amanda is my friend.
Harry: So?
Sally: So, you're going with her.
Harry: So?
Sally: So, you're coming on to me.
Harry: No I wasn't. (With disbelief, she stares at him.)
As they leave the diner, Sally defensively believes
he is "coming on" to her. To carry his line of reasoning
further - to get her riled up and to argue his point - Harry proposes
going to bed with her. Ultimately, Harry believes that men and women
cannot be friends, because sex will always interfere. [This is a
classic discussion of the film's main question: "Can a man and
a woman ever be 'just friends'"?]:
Harry: What? Can't a man say a woman is attractive
without it being a come-on? All right, all right. Let's just say,
just for the sake of argument, that it was a come-on. What do you
want me to do about it? I take it back, OK? I take it back.
Sally: You can't take it back.
Harry: Why not?
Sally: Because it's already out there.
Harry: Oh jeez. What are we supposed to do? Call the cops? It's already
out there!
Sally: Just let it lie, OK?
Harry: Great! Let it lie. That's my policy. (They get into the car.)
That's what I always say. Let it lie. Want to spend the night in
a motel? (She glares at him.) You see what I did? I didn't let it
lie.
Sally: Harry -
Harry: I said I would and I didn't...I went the other way...What?
Sally: We are just going to be friends, OK?
Harry: Great, friends. It's the best thing...You realize, of course,
that we can never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way,
shape, or form - is that men and women can't be friends, because
the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there
is no sex involved.
Harry: No, you don't.
Sally: Yes, I do.
Harry: No, you don't.
Sally: Yes, I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You're saying I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with
you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive.
He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman
he finds unattractive.
Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail them, too.
Sally: What if they don't want to have sex with you?
Harry: Doesn't matter, because the sex thing is already out there,
so the friendship is ultimately doomed, and that is the end of the
story.
Sally: Well, I guess we're not gonna be friends, then.
Harry: Guess not.
Sally: That's too bad. You were the only person that I knew in New
York.
The camera tracks their car as it crosses the George
Washington Bridge into New York City, and they arrive at Harry's
destination near Washington Square. In an awkward moment of goodbye,
they shake hands and part ways after an "interesting"
ride:
Harry: It was nice knowin' ya.
Sally: Yeah. (They shake hands - and she waves. After walking to
the car door, she turns.) Well, have a nice life.
Harry: You too.
As an interlude, a second direct-camera interview
is presented, with an even older couple sitting together on the same
loveseat:
Woman: We fell in love in high school.
Man: Yeah, we were high school sweethearts.
Woman: But then after our junior year, his parents moved away.
Man: But I never forgot her.
Woman: He never forgot me.
Man: No, her face was burned on my brain. And it was thirty-four
years later that I was walking down Broadway and I saw her come out
of Toffinetti's.
Woman: And we both looked at each other, and it was just as though
not a single day had gone by.
Man: She was just as beautiful as she was at sixteen.
Woman: He was just the same. He looked exactly the same.
FIVE YEARS LATER
At La Guardia Airport in New York, another loving couple
are kissing at one of the departure gates. Sally and her new boyfriend
named Joe (Steven Ford). When Harry, now wearing a suit and tie,
passes by the couple to catch a plane to Washington, he notices them,
goes past, and then backs up. Joe, a lawyer, is an acquaintance of
Harry's, who has become a political consultant. Although he greets
Joe, Harry is unable to place Sally in his memory, but he looks quizzically
at her after being introduced. When Harry boards the plane, she tells
Joe about her distasteful memories of their college-era drive to
New York:
Sally: Thank God he couldn't place me. I drove from
college to New York with him five years ago and it was the longest
night of my life...He made a pass at me, and when I said no - he
was going with a girlfriend of mine - oh God, I can't remember
her name. (jokingly) Don't get involved with me, Joe, I am twenty-six
years old and I can't even remember the name of the girl I was
such good friends with, I wouldn't get involved with her boyfriend...I
said we could just be friends, and - this part I remember - he
said that men and women could never really be friends. Do
you think that's true?
Joe: No.
Sally: Do you have any woman friends, just friends?
Joe: No, but I will get one if it's important to you.
Finding themselves on the same plane and only one row
apart, Harry overhears Sally's fussy ordering, and then suddenly
places her: "The University of Chicago, right?" They renew
acquaintances after he switches seats to be next to her. Both of
them are in relationships - Sally has only known Joe for a month
and she tells Harry: "Neither one of us is looking to get married
right now."
On the contrary, Harry, a crude and cynical womanizer who is "madly
in love", is "embracing life" (according to Sally) and
getting married to Helen Hillson, a lawyer:
Harry: ...You just get to a certain point when you
get tired of the whole thing.
Sally: What whole thing?
Harry: The whole life-of-a-single-guy. You meet someone, you have
the safe lunch, you decide you like each other enough to move on
to dinner, you go dancing, you do the white man's overbite, you go
back to her place, you have sex, and the minute you're finished,
you know what goes through your mind? How long do I have to lie here
and hold her before I can get up and go home? Is thirty seconds enough?
Sally: That's what you're thinking? Is that true?
Harry: Sure. All men think that. How long do you like to be held
afterwards? All night, right? See, that's the problem. Somewhere
between thirty seconds and all night is your problem.
Sally: I don't have a problem.
Harry: Yeah, you do.
While staying over in Washington, Harry proposes that
they both have dinner together - as friends. As they stood on the
moving escalator at the airport, he struggles to explain that he
has an amendment to his earlier rule about relationships between
men and women:
Yes, that's right. They can't be friends...unless
both of them are involved with other people. Then they can. This
is an amendment to the earlier rule. If the two people are in relationships,
the pressure of possible involvement is lifted. That doesn't work
either. Because what happens then is the person you're involved
with can't understand why you need to be friends with the person
you're just friends with, like it means something is missing from
the relationship and wanted to go outside to get it. Then when
you say, 'No, no, no, no, it's not true, nothing is missing from
the relationship,' the person you're involved with then accuses
you of being secretly attracted to the person you're just friends
with, which you probably are - I mean, come on, who the hell are
we kidding, let's face it - which brings us back to the earlier
rule before the amendment, which is men and women can't be friends.
So where does it leave us?
They both realize that they must not see each other
and part ways again. |